Everyone Ends Up In Hell
by chefchick
Summary: Edward, Alice, and Jacob never come home after the battle with the Newborns, and Jasper and Bella's lives are in shambles. They are brought together when Bella looses it and attempts to kill herself, and she is changed. Rated M for rape. Dont own Twilight
1. The Jump To Hell

_After the attack of Victoria, Edward took Bella back to the house to be protected by Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmet._

I paced back and forth across the room, my heart racing. "Why aren't they back yet?" My voice cracked as I looked around at the vampires that were protecting me.

"Bella, there is only so much calm I can give you. Now stop pacing." Jasper sighed, but never looked away from the window.

"I can't! They are all still out there! Why are they not back?" I continued to pace, and didn't care how much it bothered them. I was too worried to sit.

"Emmet." Rosalie was just as nervous as I was, but she was handling it much better.

Rolling his eyes, Emmet walked over towards me. In a swift movement, he picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder. "Will you stop now?" He chuckled softly, but it was clear that it was all a show. He just wanted to lighten the mood. The only reason he was as worried as Jasper and myself was simple, his mate was safely here. Although, he was still worried for the rest of his family.

"No, but put me down anyway." I knew that he could easily force me to sit, as well as anyone else, but I didn't care. I cared for everyone that was out there, and they all knew it, because they all did too.

Suddenly, everyone tensed, and Emmet lowered me to the floor, and then darted to stand in front of Rosalie. I tried to look around them, but I was unable to. Suddenly, they all relaxed.

"Carlisle and Esme." Rosalie let out a soft sigh and got out of her defensive crouch and stood up next to Emmet and leaned into his side.

"What about Edward? And Jacob? And Alice?" My fear was evident, and I pushed past Emmet so I was able to look towards the oncoming vampires. I could feel Jasper tense next to me.

Esme was the first of the two in the house, and she was followed closely by Carlisle. They both had heads down, and I lost my breath. "What happened?" I tried to swallow my fear and my tears, but I couldn't. Tears started to brim my eyes, and blur my vision.

"Bella, Jasper…We need to talk." Carlisle's voice was low and grave, and I couldn't catch my breath.

"Please…Don't say it…" Tears started to fall out of my eyes, and fall down my cheeks.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." Esme pulled me into a hug, and started to cry tearless sobs.

"No…" Jasper's voice showed as much pain as I felt, and Carlisle pulled him into a hug.

I fell to the floor and shook my head. "No… It can't be…Not all of them…No…" How could the three people that I cared for so much, other than my blood family, all die at once?

Emmet picked me up and gently carried me to the couch and put me down on it. I curled up in a ball and started to sob. I looked over towards Jasper, and I saw him pacing, and I even saw him punch a large whole in the wall, and then ran off into the woods.

Pulling my knees to my chest, I put my forehead to my knees, taking deep breaths.

I felt a cool hand on my back, moving up and down in a soothing motion. "Bella, do you want us to drive you home?" Rosalie was the one that was trying to sooth me. I realized that Carlisle was probably comforting Esme, and Emmet was probably trying to find Jasper to calm him down.

Sitting up, I took a few deep breaths and wiped away the tears that were left on my face. Taking one last deep breath, I put up my wall. My eyes were emotionless, and I kept a perfectly straight face. I couldn't show them how much I was pained. "I'm fine. I will have time to think if I drive."

Rosalie looked around, but by now the room was completely empty. I could hear the loud crying of Esme upstairs, and I closed my eyes. "Yes. There…there are too many memories here. I will loose it. I need to leave now, and you need to stay with your family." I stood up and pulled her into a hug. "Please."

Nodding, Rosalie pulled back. "Yeah, go. Just call me when you get home."

Putting on a fake smile, I nodded and walked out of the house and towards my truck. Pulling out my keys, I slid into the driver side. With trembling hands, I put the keys in the ignition and slowly pulled out of the long driveway.

As I started to drive, my mind started to go. All I could picture was Jacob, Edward, and Alice being ripped apart by the newborns. Tears started to blur my vision again and I sighed.

Then, my mind went to my final plan. Pressing my truck to its speed limit, I drove into La Push, and made up my mind. Taking a road that I had only traveled once, I kept my thoughts vacant. I knew that Alice was dead somewhere, but old habits die hard.

Finally, I put my car in park and looked around. Taking a deep breath, I put my car in drive and floored it. Closing my eyes, I waited for what I knew was coming.

Suddenly, the car lurched and started to fall at a forty-five degree angle. Holding my breath, I sent out a silent, happy prayer. _Jacob, Edward, Alice. I'm coming._

Then my car hit water, and my head lurched forward, making contact with the steering wheel.

Water started to surround me, and I felt the jerk as the front of my truck hit the bottom of the ocean. My head rested on the wheel, but then I felt the searing pain. My head was throbbing, and I saw my red blood mix in with the salty water around me. Then pain filled my legs and I looked down.

The car had buckled with the contact of the ocean floor, and had crushed my legs. Even more red blood appeared from there.

Tilting my head back, I screamed out in pain. The last of my air supply bubbled away from my head, and outside of my truck from some unknown crack.

My lungs begged for air that I couldn't give them. Placing my head on the steering wheel, the world went black, and I waited for the bright lights of heaven.


	2. Hell Never Hurt This Bad

**BPOV**

A cold hand was running up and down my body, and I forced my eyes open, praying for Alice or Edward. I coughed up water and turned my head, but I still felt that I was dying. I was not in heaven.

Slowly, I turned my head to look at the vampire that was over me. The face that hovered just inches from my bleeding body made me cringe. "Jasper?" I choked out the name, and tried to cover a wound on my arm, but there was blood everywhere, covering the rocks under me.

"Shhh. You're loosing too much blood." He bit his bottom lip gently and looked me over.

I tried to cover the wounds, but I let out a cry of pain each time I moved, and even louder when I touched my open wounds. "Leave…get Carlisle…" I didn't want to put him through the pain of being around my blood.

"No, you wont make it that long." Tears filled Jasper's eyes, tears that would never fall. The pain that I was going through was terrible, and I could feel the blood being pulled from my body.

"No…I tried to die…" I couldn't make him go through this pain. I wasn't worth it. I tired to kill myself, and I had clearly failed.

"Bella, our family has already lost so many people, we can't loose you, too." His voice was pained, and he was talking quickly.

"No…Why would they care? Why do you care?" My voice was hoarse, and I was dying in front of him, and I knew if I could talk long enough, I would die. I wanted to die. I wanted to be with Jacob, Alice, and Edward again.

"You are my sister, Bella. I lost Alice, as well as my brother. You are our family." He lifted my wrist and brought it towards his mouth. "I'm sorry Bella. But I do this out of love."

Suddenly, he sunk his teeth into my wrist, and I let out a pained cry. I felt his tongue run over the wound he just created. He repeated this with my other wrist. He then opened my shirt so that my chest was exposed. He carefully bit me and quickly sealed the wound.

"Please, stay with me Bella. Please don't die." Jasper's voice was pained, and it was the last thing that I heard before I let out another cry of pain, softer than the last, and then the world went black.

**JPOV**

Picking Bella up in my arms, I ran to the house. I ran faster than I had ever run before. My mind was thinking over every possibility of what could happen, and they all ended with me getting there too late, and her dying.

After what seemed like hours, I arrived at the house and placed Bella gently on the couch, and cringed as she let out another cry of pain. "Carlisle!" I knew I didn't need to scream out his name, but it might make it obvious how urgent it was.

Carlisle was at my side in a moment, and he sucked in an unnecessary breath. "Jasper, what happened?" He ran his hands over her wounds and ran off and came back before I could answer. He quickly started to stitch up the numerous gashes over Bella's body.

"She drove her truck over the edge of a cliff." I started pacing quickly, keeping my eyes on Bella the whole time. "I pulled her out after she passed out, and there was blood everywhere. I-" I took a deep breath and then continued. "I had to change her. She was dying." I hung my head.

Carlisle quickly finished stitching her up, and walked over towards me. "Jasper, you did what you needed to. How much venom did you put in her?"

"I bit both of her wrists, and right above her heart." I recalled it quickly, and wished that I could have done more.

"Son, you have done a great job. There is nothing more you could have done." His voice was soft, and suddenly Esme was at his side.

"Bella!" She flew to Bella's side, and ran her hands over her wounds slowly. "Bella…" She brushed away a few strains of her hair from her face and turned to me. "Get me a damp rag. With the amount of venom you put in her, she could wake up at anytime. I have never heard of anyone having that much venom in them at once." Her voice was urgent, and I knew that her words would have been inaudible to any human.

Taking on some of my mothers fear, I gave her calming waves in its place, and then ran off to the bathroom. I searched for some rags, and I managed to find three, and dampened them. Running back to my mother, I handed them to her. "Here, Mom." It felt odd calling Esme Mom and Carlisle Dad, but that's what they are to me.

Taking the rags, she gently started to wipe the blood off of Bella's face, and then off of her arms and legs. Without looking up from Bella, Esme started to talk again. "Carlisle, these bloody clothes will tempt her. My clothes probably won't fit her, so can you ask Rosalie for some clothes."

Carlisle nodded and ran off upstairs. I continued to pace, but my mind had wandered away from Bella, and back to the thoughts I had before; Alice. My mate, my love, was dead. I would never see her again. My life would be hell, and there was no way to end it.

I looked over to where I had punched the wall out of anger. Putting my head down, I tried to hold back my sadness, but it was hard when I was also taking on my mothers sadness, and Bella's pain. Suddenly, Bella let out a blood curdling scream, and I ran from the house. I was in enough pain; I couldn't deal with going through taking on Bella's pain of the change. Although I regretted it deeply, I ran far enough so that I couldn't feel her emotions.

With my head down, I ran at a fast pace that slowed once I only felt my own feelings; anger, sorrow, pain, concern. All I could think about was Alice, and the day we first met. She was the most beautiful person I had ever met. I know that she would have wanted me to move on, but how could I? She was my life, and now half of my heart was gone.

Suddenly, I ran into the brick wall known as Emmet. The shock of running into Emmet sent me to the ground, but I was back on my feet in a moment, and in a defensive crouch. I knew it was Emmet, but my instincts told me he was putting me in danger in my most fragile moment.

"There you are! Are you the one that fucked up those trees back there?" Emmet's eyes were the darkest color of copper that I had seen, dancing on the thin line of anger filled black.

"Emmet, go." I was furious. I needed to be alone, or the trees would look picture perfect compared to what else I would do.

"No. Tell me what the hell you did and what happened." Emmet stood, towering over me, and he blocked my way.

Straightening up, I let out a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I could flip him on his back in a second and run off, but I would regret it for years to come. I have to live in the family with him for years, if I did this now, then he would never let me live it down. "Why the hell do you care?"

"You are my brother, and if you are off to kill some humans out of rage, let me know so I can try to hold you down until Carlisle can come out here and help me. Or better yet, let me get Rose. She could beat the shit out of you." His eyes started to turn darker and darker with rage.

"You want to know what happened? I lost the love of my life! I tore up a few trees, practicing for that scumbag Victoria, if she is still out there. Then I felt pain, so I followed it. I found Bella, in her trunk, passed out on the bottom of the ocean. She lost so much blood that I had to change her. She is being changed at the house as we speak. Now let me go mourn before I rip your head off." Why did it have to be Alice who was lost? I didn't want to loose any of my family, but I had lost my love, my mate, my soul.

"Jas…I'm sorry, I didn't know." He put his hand on my arm, his eyes turning back to copper as he watched me.

Shaking him off, I could tell that my eyes were pitch black with pure anger. "Alice is the only one that could call me Jas. No one has the right to call me that. Get out of here." My words came out in a growl, and I turned before he could say anything else, but I heard him run off towards the house.

I ran with no true destination., and ended up in the clearing that I had destroyed out of anger. Walking over to one of the fallen trees and put my head in my hands. I couldn't just let Bella suffer there. I would have to go and at least try to take away some of her pain.

Getting to my feet, I started to walk slowly towards the house. Suddenly, there was a scream of agony that ripped through the silent forest. I started to sprint, trying to get back to the house as soon as I could. Maybe she had already changed, and I was the only family that knew Newborns well enough to help them, and save her.

I was still at least a minute away from the house when the most ferocious growl I had ever hear stopped me in my tracks. I was too late.

**I would just like to thank all of my readers, and I would like to encourage anyone and everyone to review my story. If you hated it, that is fine! Please just leave me a short review about what you didn't like so that I can change it in my future chapters. Thank you to all of you who have read my story so far, and I hope you are enjoying it as much as I am.**


	3. Love Lasts Through Hell

_By special request from __Katyanne3, here is another chapter, in the same day. But let me just tell you, I can't post two everyday. Unlike a lot of authors, I don't write my stories in advance, and I make the story up as I go. Although, on special requests, and on chapters that ended dramatically, I will write one in a day, if possible. Of course, you will have to ask early in the day, but I will do my best. So hope you enjoy, and this is specially for you, Katyanne3! Enjoy!_

**JPOV**

My mind was racing, and some part of my brain forced me legs to start running again. As I raced through the doors of the house, I was met with a scene that was worse than I could have ever imagined.

I was right, Bella had been changed. And now she was pinning Emmet to the ground, growling loudly, the growl that had scared me to my core had come from her. Esme was in the far corner, not breathing, perfectly still. She appeared to be trying to disappear into the woodwork.

The strangest part of all was that, although she had him pinned to the ground, Bella didn't seem as if she wanted to kill Emmet. Poor Emmet just laid there, not sure what to do.

"Bella, please get off of Emmet." My voice was calm. I had never faced a Newborn like her before. All of the other Newborns would kill if they felt threatened, and yet Bella just hand Emmet pinned to the ground; it didn't even look like she had injured him, other than his pride.

Her head whipped up and she glared at me. I lost my breath as I looked at her. She was by far more beautiful than Rosalie. Her mahogany hair was tucked behind her ears, showing her flawless face. Her lips were slightly fuller and inviting. Even her scarlet red eyes seemed loving, even though they marked human blood.

"He will kill me." Her voice sounded as if it came from an angel from above, even with the anger laced throughout it.

"No, Bella. He is Emmet, your brother. He loved you, and would never hurt you." I tried to calm her, and take on her anger, but I was so confused about this all. She could have easily ripped off Emmet's head. I mean, I was happy that she didn't, but she could have.

Bella then turned her attention back to Emmet. "Emmet?" Her voice was much kinder, and she even seemed as if she was sorry, but she never loosened her grip on Emmet's shoulders.

"Yes Bella, it is me." Emmet kept completely still, but said it in the nicest tone possible. Thankfully his eyes were completely copper again.

"Oh my god." Bella was on her feet in an instant, and trapped herself against the corner farthest away from everyone.

Esme leaned off the wall to run to Emmet, but I put my hand up and stopped her. "Don't. Sudden movement might startle her. She attacked Emmet because he was the strongest in the room."

Of course, Emmet completely ignored me. He got to his feet at a face pace, but then he started to very slowly approach her.

"Emmet, back up slowly and get over here." Newborns had two main instincts; fight or flight. The corner she was in caused her to be trapped, so if the opportunity occurred, she would fight him.

"Bella, I'm okay. Really. Please come out from there." His voice was soft, and he stuck his hand out to her, willing her to take it.

In a blinding flash, Bella bound off the wall and into Emmet's arms. "I'm so sorry Emmet! I don't know what came over me! I mean, I woke up, and everything was clearer and louder, and then I saw you! Something in my mind told me that you were going to kill me, so I attacked. But once I had you pinned, I couldn't go farther. I knew it was you, but you just looked too strong…" She started to sob into Emmet's arms, but no tears would ever fall.

Emmet started to gently pet her head. "It is okay. The important thing is that you managed to stop. That is amazing. You aren't even an hour old! It took me months, and Rosalie still has trouble with it." He backed up and looked at me in total and utter shock.

"Bella, that was amazing." Suddenly, and without me knowing what was going on, I felt a wave of love for Bella. As she stood there, I took in her beauty. Although I still loved Alice, the sudden love for Bella was overpowering, and I had no idea about how to stop it.

A small smile grew on Bella's face, and I guessed that my emotion showed on my face. I turned to look at Esme, but she was gone. Turning around, I saw that she had slowly walked over and gave Bella a quick hug. "Great job. I'm proud to be your mother."

"Thanks." Bella's voice made my heart sing. Then her attention was on me again, and she tilted her head.

Then I realized. I was the only one who had not given her a hug yet, and everyone else had.

Her head dipped down when I didn't move. "Jasper, I know you have dealt with a lot of Newborns. I understand if you keep your distance." Her voice was laced with sorrow, and my own emotion changed. I was now filled with sorrow, but the twinge of love for her was still there, trying to break threw the sorrow.

Taking a short breath, I looked at Bella closely. Taking slow steps, I walked over to her and hugged her awkwardly. Then, the sorrow disappeared and only love filled my dead heart.

Sighing, I forced myself to pull away. Looking at her, I saw how dark her red eyes were. "You need to hunt. I'll take you."

Nodding, Bella waved goodbye to Esme and Emmet and walked towards the door. She stood in the doorway, completely tense, watching me.

"Jasper, are you sure that you are ready for this? Like the trees…" Emmet looked at me, and then at Bella. "I could go-"

"No. I'm fine." I answered him too quickly, and I got a dirty look from Emmet.

"Just watch out for your _little sister_." His emphasis on the two words were harsh, but I knew it was true. Alice had been my mate, and that was that. I didn't deserve Alice, and I don't deserve to disrespect her so much as to go after Bella.

Turning, I walked over to Bella and held out my elbow. A spike of love hit me as she smiled up at me sheepishly, and then slid her arm under mine and linked arms with me. I didn't want to rush her, so I tried to walk at human pace. After so many years of practicing it, it was not as much as a struggle.

Once we were out of the site of the house, I felt a little better. I could no longer feel Emmet and Esme's emotions, and I couldn't hear them either. Good, that means I could talk to Bella without getting crap from Emmet later.

"How are you feeling? I know that being a Newborn is challenging." I tried to be as sincere as I could. I truly wanted to know everything about her, but this would most likely be all that she would know, other than a few memories of her human life.

"My throat is burning." The pain in her voice didn't surprise me. The thirst for human blood, or any blood, was difficult to get used to.

"I know. Listen. Smell." I could hear a buck to our right, and I wanted to see if she could pick up on it. I knew that I wouldn't be able to get near her, but I wasn't sure if my protective instincts would allow me to do such.

She stiffened, and the slight breeze blew her hair in the slightest way, blowing away from her face. "There." She pointed to our right, in the exact direction that the buck was in.

"Good. Now, run after it. I will be behind you, but I need to give you your space. Trust me, your instincts kick in the moment you catch sight of it. The burning in your throat will lessen as you drink the animals blood, but it will always be there. You become more used to it as time goes on." I smiled at her, hoping she would run off to catch the animal. Her red eyes were becoming darker every moment she stood in front of me.

A pang of fear hit me, and I was confused. I felt as if I was the one who was in utter fear, and yet I felt the exact same emotion coming from Bella. I must be thirsty, and my mind was getting the better of me, and I couldn't tell the difference between her emotions and my own.

"No…No…You can't just send me off! I'm clumsy, I will fall and die!" She shook her head quickly, and her perfect voice rose three octaves. "Please, don't leave."

I unlocked our arms, and gently grabbed her shoulders. "Bella, you will do fine. All vampires are graceful, you are no exception. And I will be close enough that if you need me, I will be there."

Then a wave of relief washed over me, and I closed my eyes. "Okay, now go hunt." I said it in the most lighthearted way I could.

Nodding, she took off running. Pulling out my cell phone, I listened to where Bella was. She was far enough away that I could start jogging and not interfere with her hunting. I quickly dialed the phone number of Carlisle and started to jog, following her scent.

"Carlisle, once we get back, I need to show you something. I think that Bella has a talent." My voice was filled with joy. It would be great for her to have a power. It would possibly make her change easier, and it would give her something to prefect over her life.

"Really? Do you have the opportunity to elaborate more, or are you out hunting." He sounded so interested, but I couldn't talk for too long, at risk of startling Bella in mid-hunt.

"Sorry Carlisle, but I don't want to scare her. I'm coming up on her now. We will be back when we are done hunting." I saw Bella now, and I knew that any noise might break her concentration, so I quietly closed the phone and tucked it in my back pocket.

Hiding behind the safety of the trees, I watched as Bella started to approach the buck. She crouched and was silent, and she was only in a ten yard radius of it. She took a running start, and jumped one of the most graceful jumps I had ever seen. She landed expertly onto its back and she grabbed its head between her hands and snapped its neck in one swift movement.

As the buck fell to the floor, she jumped off to dodge the antlers. Crouching down, she sunk her teeth into its neck. I saw the deep gulps she took as she drank the blood from the buck.

Turning, I started to walk away to wait for her in a clearing. Suddenly, I felt a movement behind me, and a low, almost menacing whisper. "Where are you going?"

_I really hope you read this today Katyanne3, but just know, this chapter is for you =p_


	4. A Hell Of A Day

**JPOV**

Taking a deep breath, I slowly turned around and was face to face with Bella. "I'm sorry, did I startle you?" I kept my voice calm, but anger started to build up inside of me, although I only had peaceful intentions.

"Where are you going?" Her voice was still as low, but it was still the sweetest sound I had ever heard.

"I was going to wait for you in a clearing." I kept my voice calm, but the anger was about to push me over the edge.

She tilted her head and smirked. God she was beautiful. "I thought you were going to stay with me." Her anger level lowered until it was sadness.

I felt so much better now that she was not angry, although now I had the sorrow that was making me feel her pain. I couldn't feel any anger, so I took a risk. I pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want to startle you while you fed."

"But you left…" Her voice was a little squeak.

I backed up and looked at her. Her clothes were torn up, and blood stained the front of her shirt. There was a few drops on her chin which I wiped off with my thumb. "Let's get you home. If you are still hungry, we can get Emmet to hunt for you." I scanned her eyes. They were a lighter red, but still too dark for my liking. "And we can get you a change of clothes."

"Are you mad?"

"Of course not. I startled you, that is all. I shouldn't have left while you were still feeding, I'm sorry." I held out my arm again for her to take it.

Linking our arms together, Bella nodded. "Oh…okay. Do you think Emmet would mind?" We started to walk slowly, and I tried to think weather or not to tell her about the talk with Carlisle. I didn't want her to feel trapped into it, but I didn't want to scare her when I told her. I suppose I could tell her later, so I didn't want to scare her anymore than necessary.

"Emmet wont mind. He loves to hunt. He would hunt all day and night if he could." I chuckled softly and then noticed we were already at the house.

"How long is this going to last?" Bella stuck her heals in the ground and looked at me with wet eyes.

"What last, Bells?" It was the first time I had called her Bells, it came out accidentally, and I bit my lip as a massive wave of love generated from myself.

"My eyes. I want them to be golden like all of yours. I don't want to have the eyes of a killer." She looked at me for a second more, then turned away.

Shocked, I just stood there. When did she see her eyes? I had to know. "Bella, how do you know your eyes are red?"

Keeping her head away from me, she quickly started to talk. "When I took down the buck, there was a small puddle next to him. I caught a glance of my face in it, and I saw the red."

"Bella, it shouldn't last for too long, no longer than a year. Your blood will remain in your tissue until then. That is why you will be at your strongest until then. But don't worry about it. We all went through it." I tried to give her calming waves, but I wasn't sure if I could give her enough.

"Okay." I could feel her frantic emotions subside to calm, but I didn't know if it was because of my calming waves, or herself calming down.

"Lets go. Mom and Dad will want to talk to you." We started to walk again, and the moment we walked through the door, I was hit with all of the emotions of my remaining family.

Rosalie was jealous. A quick glance at Bella showed me why. She didn't feel like she was the most attractive one in the house anymore, and she hated that.

Esme was filled with pride. She was always proud of us, and she kept looking back and forth between Bella and me. I then wished that I could read her mind; why was she looking at the two of us?

Carlisle was excited. From our earlier conversation, I knew that he wanted to know everything about Bella's possible talent.

Emmet was confused. His eyes were locked on me, and he was glaring slightly.

Bella was fighting her instincts. She saw so many vampires, and especially with Emmet there, she wanted to run, knowing she would loose a fight. She clutched my arm tighter, and I had to hold back a wince of pain. She was much stronger than I was, and she was almost using all of her strength.

"Bella!" Even though Rosalie was jealous, she still was proud that Bella was her sister. Sadly, she was pretty stupid when it came to Newborns. She darted over to Bella and hugged her, and that was the breaking point for Bella.

Poor Bella had been doing so well until this point. She couldn't handle it. Everything happened in slow motion.

Bella tensed, and then dropped under Rosalie's grasp, and kicked her legs out from under her. She landed on top of Rosalie, knees on her stomach, and growled at her, fingers clawing her shoulders.

Esme and Carlisle pulled Bella off of Rosalie and struggled to hold her back, which didn't help. Bella felt threatened, and pulled out of their grasps, turning around to growl at them and fall into a defensive crouch.

Emmet quickly pulled Rosalie off the ground and stood her up, standing in front of her protectively, holding her thigh as he watched Bella for her next move.

Bella's flight instinct took over and she slowly started to back away, but they all blocked her exits, so she backed into a corner. As they all looked on, her fear rose and her chest was heaving as she panted with the fear.

"Guys, stop it." I slowly turned and growled at them. "Everyone stand up straight and look harmless. Emmet, you and Rosalie need to slowly leave the room. Rosalie, I will talk to you later." I slowly turned back towards Bella and pumped her full of calm, praying it would work.

"She attacked Rose." Emmet's voice was a low growl, and a quick glance at him showed me that his eyes were pure black with anger.

"Emmet, I screwed up. You will regret it if you do anything. Please, just stand up. I'm fine, she never hurt me." Rosalie gently rubbed Emmet's back and tried to sooth him enough to get him to stand up.

Turning to look her over, Emmet slowly stood up. The moment that all of us were standing up and looking almost vulnerable, Bella fell out of her defensive crouch and sat on the floor cross legged. She took a deep breath and her eyes fell to the floor. "I did it again, didn't I?" Her perfect voice was filled with sorrow, and she wouldn't meet our gaze.

"Bella, it was my fault. I should know better then to run over to you. I'm sorry." Rosalie explained and very slowly walked towards Bella. "Do you forgive me?" She reached her hand out towards her, but Emmet quickly pulled it back.

"Don't" He muttered to Rosalie.

Bella put her head in her hands and let out a shaky breath.

Rosalie turned around and glared at Emmet. "She is my sister. She is _your _sister. You don't remember how hard this was for you, do you? At least she has the restraint to not hurt any of us! She has tackled you and myself, but that was because we were fucking stupid and messed up. You ripped off Jasper's had when you got here. Give her a fucking break!" Her voice rose slightly out of anger.

"Rose, you don't understand what you are saying. She could have really hurt you." His voice was hard, and yet laced with love.

"But she didn't! You hurt many of us, and it took Jasper weeks to heal after you destroyed his hand! If you are going to be a fucking over protective ass, then that is your problem. But that beautiful vampire over in the corner crying is my sister, and I love her. Just like I love Alice and Esme. She is family. I love you Emmet, but you need to learn to look with your heart, not with your eyes."

With that, she turned and very slowly approached Bella, and squatted down. She opened her arms and looked at Bella. "I'm sorry."

Lifting her head, Bella looked at Rosalie, tears brimming her eyes that would never fall. She pulled Rosalie into a tight hug, but not so tight that it could hurt her. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, you just scared me. I was going to run, but when you did that, all I could think was attack. I'm so sorry!" She dry cried into Rosalie's shoulder.

"It is okay, I'm fine. We are all okay." Rosalie gently started to pet Bella's hair and glared at Emmet, who had taken a few steps back after what his mate had said to him.

"Come on. We need to all sit down and talk about Bella's talent. We just all need to calm down and work on this. Please." I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a few deep breaths.

Bella and Rosalie nodded and then got up and walked over to the couch and sat down next to each other, but kept a decent amount of space between them.

Emmet sat down next to Rosalie and dipped his head. "Rose-" He started, but she cut him off.

"I'm in no mood." Her voice was harsh, and she looked at me.

Carlisle and Esme hadn't said a word, and they were still silent as they sat on the floor next to each other, Carlisle's gaze locked on me, Esme's on Bella.

I hated to see Emmet and Rosalie like that, so I pulled away as much of Rosalie's anger as I could and replaced it with love of Emmet.

Rosalie glared at me but sighed. "Thanks." She sighed again and curled up against Emmet, who was suddenly confused. "I love you, you stupid ass." She giggled and closed her eyes in happiness.

Emmet picked her up and pulled her onto his lap and she curled into his chest, both of them purring softly.

"Enough of that." Carlisle sighed and looked at me. "What do you know about the talent?"

"Well I don't know exactly. I think that she is able to make you feel the emotions that she feels towards you." That was the only reasoning for it all.

Carlisle's face lightened up, and he smiled brightly at Bella. "We will have to test that on a later date."

Nodding, I sighed. "Would one of you be able to catch some food for Bella. She needs to get changed, and become more accustomed to all of you."

Smiling, Esme got to her feet. "Of course! We were on our way out anyway. We will get you something sweetie." She smiled at Bella and then looked at Carlisle. He nodded, and they very slowly left the house.

Sighing, I looked at Rosalie and Emmet. "Guys, I know you probably want to be alone but…"

Emmet and Rosalie looked at me and smiled. "We understand." Rosalie quickly said and smiled at Bella.

"I need to make it up to my little sister somehow." Emmet smiled brightly and looked at me quickly. "I will be careful."

Bella smiled even brighter. "Thank you, Emmet." She was extremely happy about that. I saw that she kept sniffing the air softly, and I was sure that she was memorizing all of our scents.

I took a soft sniff and I caught her scent. She smelled of strawberries, and it was a very sweet smell. Getting to my feet, I started to walk up the stairs. It pained me to walk so slowly, because I wanted to be alone, but I couldn't frighten Bella.

Finally, I arrived at the door to my room and I took a deep breath. Slowly, I opened the door to the room that used to belong to me and the most perfect woman in the world; Alice. Taking a step in, I closed the door.

Our room was one of the smaller rooms, just because we didn't want to have a large flashy room.

Looking around, I saw our queen sized bed, which had a red comforter on it, and dark brown headboard. Next to the bed was a large chair that faced towards the window. Walking over towards it, I sat down and looked out the window to our back yard.

Closing my eyes, I breathed in the fading scent of my love, my mate, Alice. I would no longer see her, and I could no longer hug her. Blocking out everyone else's emotions, I tried to focus only on the pain that was filling my undead heart. The pain was the only reminder that she was real, that she was once part of me. And that I was now alone.


	5. Memory Lost To Hell

_I saw something on another story that just doesn't make sense to me, but you tell me if I should do it, okay? At the end of a chapter, the author will say "Will add another chapter when I have five reviews" or something like that. Well, I put up chapters because __**I **__like to write the stories, and have people read them. Now, I won't do that because I don't want people putting up random reviews just to read the next chapter. I only have 18 review so far, and I am fine with that, because I have over 100 hits on this story. I would appreciate any reviews, but I will continue to update. Also, I am starting another Twilight story. Now, this means that I will be slightly slower on this story, but trust me, I will update quickly still. This is my only BellaxJasper story, and I really like it. Please read my story titled simply "All Fairy Tales Are True" Thank you to all my readers! Now to the story!_

I don't know if I have said it yet, but I do not own Twilight

The night droned on and on, and I just wanted the pain to end, but I knew it would be endless. Alice was gone and dead, because I had left her alone, and wasn't there to protect her. It was all my fault.

Sighing, I got to my feet and ran my fingers through my hair. I had no idea how last night went, and I didn't really care. Nothing really bad could have happened, or else I would have heard it.

I fought to walk down the stairs slowly, because I figured Bella was downstairs, and if I ran like I usually did, I would have scared her. Once I was at the bottom of the stairs, I skimmed the room quickly.

Emmet was sitting across from Bella on the floor, sitting cross legged and talking to Bella, tossing something back and forth.

Rosalie was lounging on the couch, watching Bella and Emmet with a small smile.

Bella's gaze drifted up to me and she waved, and tossed the object back to Emmet, who caught it with ease. "Hey Jasper!" She got to her feet and flew over, gave me a light hug, then darted back over to where she was sitting.

It was weird seeing someone move at their vampire speed. Even though it had only been a day since we couldn't move at our normal speed, it still seemed foreign to watch.

"Hello, Bella." I walked over and sat down on the chair and watched them.

"Hey bro." Emmet smiled and tossed the object at me.

I caught it with ease and looked it over. I noticed that it was a baseball and chuckled softly. "This time you can play with us. Bella." I smiled at her, remembering the baseball game that she had gone to, trying to block out of tracker James that had came and started to hunt Bella.

Tilting her head, Bella looked between me and Emmet. "What are you talking about?" She gigged softly, but it was obvious to us all that she was completely confused.

"Don't you remember the game? You watched us play baseball. It was a great game too. Alice pitched, and Edward was fast, as always. He even ran into me. Remember?" Emmet smiled at the memory.

Bella looked between all of us now, even Rosalie. "I don't know what you aer talking about." Her voice was soft with confusion.

"Guys, it was a bad memory. She probably suppressed the memory so that she wouldn't have to remember it into this life." Rosalie said, but turned and dangled her legs over the side of the couch and leaned forward, looking closely at Bella. "Do you remember anything about that memory? Do you remember Edward and Emmet running into each other?" Her voice was kind and low, trying to get her to open up.

Now Bella's eyes were frantic. "Who is Edward?"

I was shocked. Finally, it all made sense. I didn't think that any of her memories from her human life, similar to what happened to Alice. That was why she wasn't depressed about the loss of her loved ones; she didn't know her loved ones anymore.

"Bella, do you remember Alice? Or Jacob?" My voice cracked as I said Alice's name, but I pushed past it.

"No…Should I?" She stood up, and her breath started to quicken in fear.

Getting to my feet, I slowly walked over to her and put my hands on her forearms lightly. "It is okay. We will find this out." It was ironic in a way. She had tried to kill herself to be with her loved ones, and now she is technically dead, and she didn't know who they were. Irony is a bitch.

"So, who are they?" She switched her position so that her legs were to her side instead of cross legged.

I looked at Rose and Emmet, not sure how to put it. "They were your friends, and Edward was your…boyfriend. Alice was my…" I took a deep breath. "My love and my mate, and your good friend."

Bella looked down at her hands, but then looked back up at us all, a smile on her face. "I'm pretty sure I would remember my friends, and especially my boyfriend!" She giggled softly, a sweet chime even though it was a depressing moment.

Glancing at Emmet and Rose, they both nodded quickly and I just smiled. "Of course, Bella. You must not have known them. Sorry." I took a deep breath as I tried to think If I was doing the right thing. Should I have told her the truth? No, she was happy, which was better than her being filled with sorrow.

"So, what are we doing today?" Bella flashed a perfect smile at all of us as she waited for an answer.

"Well… What do you want to do?" I didn't know if she remembered anything from her human life, but that was nothing that needed to be explored at the moment.

"Can I learn to fight?" She looked at Emmet with a gleam in her eyes and we all laughed.

"Like you need to learn more…" Emmet chuckled and pretended to mope, but we all knew he loved a good fight.

"Oh come on Em, you know you want a rematch." Bella's smile twinkled and it was obvious that she was up to the challenge.

"Oh, your on little sister." He got to his feet and held out his hand and helped Bella to her feet, then pulled Rosalie to her feet and held her to his side. "Let's go."

I held out my arm to Bella and felt another thick hit of love radiating from my self, but I had swallow it down, knowing it was an emotion she was giving me. But why was I getting these emotions from her?

We left the house to go train, and Bella and Emmet got ready to have a rematch. All I knew was that one of them would be pissed off that they lost, and I prayed that it would be Bella.


	6. What The Hell Did I Just Do?

JPOV

"**Okay Bella. Now crouch down and keep your senses alert. But remember, we would never hurt you, so try to refrain from your instinct to fight."**

**Bella closed her eyes and nodded, moving down into a crouch yards in front of Emmet. Breathing in a deep breath, she breathed in her surroundings, and then her eyes flew open. Her red eyes sent a shiver down my spine as I watched. I had taught Bella had to attack without completely killing anyone, but I knew that she could if she wanted to, and that frightened me, but we all knew that Emmet could help himself.**

**Rosalie and I took a slow step back and watched at Bella and Emmet prepared to attack. Rosalie grabbed my arm as she prepared to watch her mate and love fight with a newborn.**

"**Ready, big brother?" Bella whispered wickedly, but smiled.**

"**Oh you know it, little sister. Bring it." He slid into his crouch and got ready to fight.**

**Bella sprung at Emmet, and he dodged easily, sending Bella into a tree, but she managed to use her hands and feet to absorb the impact. The tree fell to the ground, but Bella was launching herself back at Emmet before it hit the ground.**

**Emmet wasn't ready for her to launch herself at him, so he only had time to shift his weight. Bella grabbed his left shoulder and threw him to the ground, landing on top of him.**

**Smirking up to Bella, Emmet grabbed her shoulders. This caught her off guard, and she shifted her weight back, and Emmet flipped her, pinning her to the earth. "One…Two…" Emmet started to count up to three for the finally pin.**

**Using her legs, Bella kicked Emmet's legs out from under him, since he was crouching over her, and used the moment that he was unbalanced to flip him over and pin him to the ground tightly. "Three. I win!" She smiled brightly and slid off of him and looked at me.**

"**Damn! The day you become a year old, I want a rematch!" Emmet sat up and looked at Bella, but chuckled softly.**

"**Oh, don't be a sore looser Em!" She got to her feet and smiled at me and Rosalie. "Did I do okay?"**

**Rosalie answered before I was able to. "Bella! That was amazing! You didn't even hurt him! That was amazing!" She slowly walked over and hugged Bella loosely then hugged Emmet and sat on his lap.**

**Smiling, I walked over to them and sat on the ground so that we were sitting in a triangle. I felt a pang of sorrow hit me and I swallowed it quickly. "You did amazing, Bella.." Another pang of emotion hit me, and I could only say that it was a form of happiness, once again from Bella. **

"**What now?" Bella asked quickly and started to bounce up and down in her seat in excitement.**

**Looking at her red eyes, I shrugged. "Are you thirsty? Your eyes are dark. Actually, everyone's are." As I looked around, I noticed that Rosalie's golden eyes had an undertone of black, and Emmet's eyes were almost completely black, but purely out of hunger.**

"**Will we all go hunting together?" Bella quickly looked at Emmet and smiled brightly.**

"**Well that is something that I can win in." Emmet smirked and pulled Rosalie closer to her in a loving manner.**

"**I doubt that Emmet. She is a natural. Probably even better than you." I teased my brother lightly, but it was true.**

"**Well, I might not be that good, but I want to taste grizzly. The buck was slightly bitter, and I think Carlisle caught me a doe yesterday." She looked at Emmet and smiled. "Lets see who catches one first?" **

**Sticking out his free hand, he quickly shook Bella's small hand. "You are on!" He looked at Rosalie and quickly kissed her on the lips and then smiled. "As long as it is okay with you."**

**Smiling, Rosalie leaned forward and gently kissed his cheek, then pulled him into a hug. "Go ahead. Have fun. But remember, she is only a newborn, so keep her safe." She pulled back and swiftly got off his lap and moved towards me.**

**Emmet stood up at the same time that Bella did, and they ran off into the forest.**

**Sighing, I stood up and looked at Rosalie. "I'm dying of thirst, care to join me on a hunt?" **

**Smirking, Rosalie tapped her chin. "Well I am thirsty, but we need to talk first." The wicked smile that she gave me made me gulp in fear. **

"**What about?" At that time I wish I could read her mind so that I could tell whether to wait and listen, or to run. But as I stood here, with Bella not around, my heart ached for Alice. I guess Bella must be giving me happy feelings towards me.**

"**Sit, sit. This may take a while." Her smirk grew more and more mischievous as she tilted her head towards the tree that Bella had crashed down in the mock fight. **

"**Great. I'll never get to hunt." I rolled my eyes but walked over to the tree and sat. My throat was burning with the need for blood, but I knew that Rosalie wouldn't let me leave until she got her answers.**

**Rosalie walked gracefully over to the tree, and placed her hand on the thick trunk just a few feet away from me, and then snapped it in half. Before I could even say something, she picked up the half I wasn't sitting on and put it across from me so that she could sit and look at me.**

"**So, what do you want to know?" I was scared to know, and I had a feeling that it would end with me flipping out, or being completely embarrassed.**

"**A few things, but lets start with a simple one. How are you after all that has been going on?" Her voice was sweet, but defiantly still Rosalie.**

"**Do you mean having to change Bella, or the love of my life being murdered?" My voice grew rougher as I tried to stay strong.**

"**Wow, cool down. Lets try to stay on a slightly lighter note. With you no longer being the newest member of our family, and with Bella becoming a vampire." She looked slightly shock at how I reacted, but she got back on her feet quickly.**

"**Well, Bella is a remarkable newborn. I mean, she still clearly has her instincts, but she is fighting past them so that she doesn't hurt anyone. And I think it is great to no longer be the newest vampire. Man, I hated all the jokes Emmett said about that." I sighed and rolled my eyes playfully, but I knew something bigger was coming, and soon.**

"**And what do you think about Bella?" Her voice was hesitant, as if she was scared of my answer.**

"**I already told you, she has amazing ability to fight past her instincts…" I started to repeat, not sure what she was talking about.**

"**No, not her as a newborn, but **_**her**_**. Like, do you like her?" She shifted her position so she could easily run off if this ended badly, and I could feel how nervous she was.**

"**Rosalie. I just lost half my soul, my reason to walk this earth. How dare you say I like Bella! Of course I don't!" My voice rose slightly, and at that time I new that I was about to be screwed over for months to come.**

"**What?" The frail voice took me by surprise. Turning around I saw Bella on Emmett's back, but her face fell; she heard every word I had said.**

"**Bella…" I tried to explain, but she quickly got off Emmett's back and sped off. **

"**Way to be an ass, Jasper." Emmett growled at me, and turned to run off. **

"**Wait, she has to know that I still love Alice, right?" I prayed that he would say yes.**

**Emmett froze, but then slowly walked up to me. Watching a vampire walk up to you at human speed was like being slowly surrounded by zombies, you new you wouldn't get out of it unscathed.**

"**You are the empathy! God! You are clueless! Dude, she loves you! Even I can tell that! And god, she doesn't know who Alice is! Or Edward or Jacob! She only knows that you have been keeping her safe, and that she loves you! God, learn to use your gift, or get rid of it. But you just broke that girls heart, and I'm not even sure if eternity is enough time to heal it." His growls ripped through the air, and then he was gone, running off to find Bella.**

**I sat back down on the log. "Oh. My. God. He's right." And I put my head in my hands.**


	7. Pain From Hell

**EPOV**

As I ran after Bella, all I could think was how big of an ass Jasper just was. If I could tell that she loved him, then you think the empathy would be able to. God, someone with half a brain would be able to if I could! I stopped and sniffed the air, and caught her scent.

She was still a newborn, so I slowly started to walk up, and started to call her name so she knew it was me. "Bella? Bella darling? It's Emmett. Are you alright?" I walked through the trees to a small clearing, and saw Bella dry sobbing into her hands as she sat cross legged on the ground.

"Bella? Darling?" I slowly moved towards her, not wanting to scare her. "Sweetheart?" I tried to sooth her, and continued to very slowly approach her.

Lowing her hands, Bella looked at me. It felt as if my undead heart was hit with a knife. Tears pooled in her red eyes, tears that would never fall. She was filled with sorrow, and all because of my son of a bitch brother. I would kill him for doing this.

"What's wrong with me?" She put her head back into her hands, and her body shook with dry sobs.

I couldn't take it. I knew I would risk my own safety, but I ran over to her and scooped her up, rocking her while hugging her. "Bella, there is nothing wrong with you! You are perfect! Don't let my stupid brother make you think otherwise." I rocked her gently, trying to sooth her.

She buried her face into my chest and continued to dry sob. "Emmett, he hates me!" Her words were killing me. How dare he do this to her!

"No, sweetie, I don't." I saw Jasper appear from behind the trees, and I quickly put Bella down and growled at Jasper, hiding Bella from him.

"I think you have done enough damage for one lifetime." I tired to suppress my anger, but my words came out in a deep growl, and I felt Bella cringe. "I'm sorry Bella." I whispered softly to her.

"Emmett, please. I need to talk to her." Jasper was begging, and trying to sway me with his empathy powers.

"Screw you, Jasper. Leave out the crap, no powers." As soon as I said this, I felt my anger grow again, and I realized that he had stopped with his gift.

"Emmett, it is okay." Bella said and let out a soft and muffled sigh. "But just don't leave." She hugged me quickly, and walked out from behind me. I let out a soft sigh, but she patted my arm. "Jasper…" She started, and it took everything in me not to let out another growl at my brother.

**BPOV**

My undead heart has just been ripped out of my chest, and stomped on until it broke into a million pieces. And to top it all off, it was done but the most perfect man in existence, and the man I loved.

"Jasper…" I said softly, and saw Emmett tense, probably fighting a growl. I knew that he would probably want to run, but I needed his support right now.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I know you don't remember her, but I was married to a wonderful woman by the name of Alice. She was the love of my life, and she was killed the day that you changed. She was the love of my life, half my soul…" Jasper tried to explain.

I knew that he must truly love the girl named Alice, but he still could have found a better way to tell me. "Jasper, I know, but…" I let out a slow breath, and closed my eyes. Slowly, I opened my eyes once again and looked at Jasper. "You broke my heart. You had to know how I felt about you… And when I heard you shouting it to Rosalie. I mean, why?" I heard the low growl that came from Emmett, and I gently leaned against him for support.

"Rosalie was getting the wrong idea, Bella. She thought I loved you…" Slamming my eyes shut, I wished I could cry. Maybe then he could see the pain he was putting me through.

"Of course. I understand. How could someone like you love someone like me." I smiled slightly, but it was watered down by sorrow. I turned to Emmett and clamped my eyes shut, laying my head against his chest, wanting to just die.

"Bella, please…That's not what I meant!" Jasper's voice was pained, but I didn't care. One of my earliest memories was of Jasper calming me down, and keeping me safe. Where do you run to when your safe area has just been burned down?

"Jasper, enough. I know you're sorry, but this is too much for her." I could hear Emmett say, just before he lifted me into a cradle and started to run with me, and I kept my face buried in his chest.

"Emmett, what happened?" The soft and beautiful voice I had learned to recognized as Rosalie's lifted through the air. I kept my face buried in Emmett's chest, fearing that if I looked up, I would see Jasper.

"Jasper was an ass to her." Emmett growled.

"Emmett, don't." I pulled my face away from Emmett's chest so that I could look at him. "He told me that he didn't love me. I understand, why would he love me?"

I felt Emmett's arms tighten around me, and then I felt Rosalie's arms wrap around me. "Bella, you are perfect! Don't ever forget that! You are wonderful, and you will find your soul mate soon!" Emmett and Rosalie kept repeating, trying to cheer me up.

"Thanks guys. Emmett, I can stand, I'm fine." I sighed and he put me down. "You guys are the best." I whispered, but I knew they both heard me.

We started off towards the house, and looked in both of their eyes. Thankfully, Rosalie must have hunted as well, because both of their eyes were golden. "Emmett, Rose, can you both promise me something?" My voice was soft, but I needed them to do it for me.

"Anything." Rose and Emmett both said in unison.

"Don't kill him, okay? It's not his fault." I looked at them, begging them to agree.

"I promise I won't _kill _him." Emmett said, and I heard him growl lowly. I knew that was the best that I would get out of him so I nodded and walked into the house.

On the fridge there was a note. I walked up and pulled it off, reading it quickly. "Mom and Dad went up to Alaska for a little to meet up with their friends. They said that they have their phones on them." I looked at Rosalie and Emmett and they both nodded.

"So…What do we do now?" It was rare to be alone, without Jasper at least. I had no idea what to do.

"Well, we can do whatever you want. We have a pool table, piano, books, or we can go down to the ocean and swim." Rosalie listed off mindlessly, giving me as many possibilities as she could off the top of her head.

"Could we swim?" The moment I asked, Emmett picked me up and swung me around.

"Yes!" His booming voice cut through the silence of the room and he smiled, putting me down and looked at Rosalie with puppy dog eyes. "Pretty please, sweetheart?"

Rosalie laughed and nodded. "Fine. Bella, we will need to take you shopping soon! You have no clothes! I'll fix that tomorrow." She smirked and grabbed my hand. "Let's get you a bathing suit."

She pulled me upstairs and into her room. I sat down on her bed as she started to search her closet. Finally, she came back with an orange and white poka-dotted bikini. "Here you go!" she said happily and tossed it to me.

I grabbed it out of the air and shook my head. "Rose, really? I can't wear this!" I looked down at it. It was not the most revealing bikini I have remember seeing, but it was still a bikini.

"Bella! You are beautiful! Put on the freaking bikini so we can go swimming." She rolled her eyes happily and walked back into the closet. "What color do you think looks best on me? Purple or black?"

My eyes were still locked on the bikini I was going to be forced to wear. "Purple." I answered mindlessly, but I knew it was true.

"Thanks! Now, put on your bathing suit." She closed the closet door, and started to change in the closet.

Sighing, I swiftly changed, but felt odd in just the bikini, so I put my t-shirt and jean shorts back overtop, just until we got to the water.

Rosalie stepped out with a light purple bikini with elegant black designs on. She looked and me and laughed, and then quickly put her clothes back on overtop of hers. She held out her arm and I linked mine with hers. "Let's go!" I said cheerfully. Maybe I could get my mind off of Jasper.

Walking downstairs, we saw Emmett in a white t-shirt with a blue bathing suit on. He looked at us and started to whine. "Awww, I don't get to see you guys in your bikini's?" He sounded so disappointed, I was put into a laughing fit.

I heard a 'thwack' as Rosalie sped over to him, hit him in the back of his head, and then kissed his cheek.

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed a towel that Emmett had put out, and started for the door. "Shall we?"

"Sweet!" Emmett sped by the towels, picked up one, and then ran into the forest. Rosalie chuckled and walked up to me, towel in hand. "Let's go."

Smiling, I started to run after Emmett, with Rosalie right next to me. I laughed as the wind hit my face, and I smiled. I was happy again.


	8. To Hell With This

_Just saying, Bella is a newborn. She gets distracted easily. And going swimming took her mind off of Jasper._

**BPOV**

We were at the ocean, looking at the beautiful scene made me smile. Rosalie and Emmett were already in the ocean, and Emmett kept splashing Rosalie, while she shouted complaints.

Smiling, I pulled off the t-shirt and the jean shorts. I suddenly felt odd, but I didn't care. Suddenly, I heard no more splashing, but what I did hear startled me.

"Damn! Little Bella is hot!" Emmett chimed out loudly, and the loud cracking noise of Rosalie hitting him in the back of the head was the following sound.

I smiled and looked to the ground, knowing that if I could blush, I would have. Hot? Me? Not when Rosalie was around.

"Aww I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to upset you?" Emmett was trying to guess why I was not coming swimming, but he was wrong.

Looking up to him, I smiled. "I'm fine." I took a few steps back, then ran forward, jumping into the ocean with a loud splash, completely pumbling Emmett with a huge wave, while Rosalie went under the water so she wouldn't get hit by it.

I came up and smiled brightly, and saw pure and utter shock on Emmett's face. "What the hell was that?" Emmett asked, completely stunned.

I splashed him with great force. "Emmett, language!" I giggled and flopped backwards, floating on the salty ocean surface. "Emmett?" I asked softly, loving the feeling of floating.

"Yeah?" He sounded confused.

"Race ya." I stopped floating and looked at him, raising an eyebrow. This was going to be fun.

"Oh, you're on." Emmett smiled at me and backed up so he was crouching on the sand, smirking at me.

I moved next to him and smiled, looking at Rose. "Are you going to call it?" I asked, truly not making her.

"Ready. Set. Go." Rosalie called happily, quickly moving to the side so we wouldn't hit it.

Quickly I started to swim, noting knowing how far to swim. Emmett was swimming next to me, but he slowly started to pass me, so I swam harder, pulling up the slack, taking the lead.

Suddenly, Emmett turned and started to swim back. Letting out a slight curse, I quickly turned and started to take the lead again. Then, we were back at the sand, closing in the distance between us. I pushed myself, and I smiled as Rosalie chimed out "Bella wins!"

Emmett laughed but pretended to pout. "You cheated!"

Walking over to Emmett, I smiled at him and gently tapped his shoulder, not wanting to hurt him at all. "Aww, you know I'm better than you Emmett. You need to accept that."

Smiling, Emmett picked me up and tossed me farther into the ocean. "Okay, fine. You can swim better than I can." He smiled brighter as I resurfaced.

"Hey I'm hungry. I'm ganna go hunt." I smiled and walked out of the ocean, quickly drying off with the towel and then rubbed my hair through it quickly. Pulling my hair into a high pony tail, I slipped on my clothes, and turned to wave.

Emmett was getting out of the ocean, as well as Rosalie.

"Guys, stay here! I mean, you can't get close to me anyway, so just stay here. I will be back soon, okay?" I didn't want to be a burden, and I needed to learn to hunt by myself.

"It is okay, Bella. We don't mind." Rosalie said, moving towards her towel.

"No, no. I'm fine. I'm a newborn, I can protect myself. And worse comes to worse, I will run to my house. Don't worry about it. I will be back soon." I smiled, and turn and ran off before they could argue.

Once I knew that they wouldn't follow me, I stopped and sniffed the air. I could smell a grizzly bear to the north, and I smiled. I was like Emmett, I loved a good grizzly. Taking off, I sprinted towards the bear. Suddenly, I could smell the bear much stronger, and I knew it was near.

Moving into a crouch, I slowly moved forward until I could see the bear. He was huge, and ready to attack if needed, I'm sure. Lunging forward I landed on his back. Before he could even struggle, I reached my hands up and swiftly broke his neck, and jumped off as he fell to the ground.

Taking in a deep breath, I smiled. Sinking my teeth into his neck, I started to take quick and hasty gulps. The burning in my throat started to lesson, and finally my gulps lead to only drinking air. Sitting up I sighed. My throat still have a very slight burn, but I knew that would happen, unless I drank human blood, but there was no way in hell I would do that.

Standing, I wiped the blood from my mouth and sighed, looking down. Damn, my clothes were completely in shreds. I guess the bear did get a swipe in or two, and now I had to take off my shirt and jeans; actually they fell off. Shit, now I had to go home in a bikini, great.

I started off at a slow trot, wanting to watch everything closely. I heard a twig snap, and I turned around, going into a defensive crouch, a growl ripping through my throat.

"Sorry, Darlin'" The slight southern accent alerted me that it was Jasper, and he came into my view.

Getting out of my crouch, I shook my head, and turned to go back to the house.

"Bella, please. Let me explain…" His voice was pleading, and I was getting calming waves that were taking over my sorrow.

"Only if you let me feel my own emotions." I didn't turn to look at him, not yet. I needed to have my own emotions. After a soft sigh from Jasper, I felt my sorrow overwhelm me and I turned, looking at him.

"Jasper, it's not a big deal. I understand, you don't like me. It's fine, I didn't think you did." I tried to keep my face straight, and I think I did well.

"Bella, come, sit down. I need you to understand something." Nodding slightly, I sat where I was standing, and Jasper took one step closer, and then sat, looking at me. "I know you don't remember, but Alice was one of your good friends, and as I said before, half of my soul, and my only reason for being on this earth. And now she is gone." He sighed, and I could tell how upset he was.

"Jasper, you don't need to do this. I understand. You don't love me, it's fine! Don't put yourself through hell for me…I'm not worth it." I looked down at my hands.

"Bella. I will always love Alice, but that doesn't mean I can't feelings for you." My head shot up. "Bella, you are beautiful. It is just hard for me to get over the lost of Alice, but I know I will sooner or later. Bella, I do have feelings for you, and they grow every moment that I'm near you."

I was in pure and utter shock. He had feelings for me? No, no he was lying. But the look on his face…there was no way that was the face of a liar.

He handed me a piece of paper, and as I looked at it, I realized something. "Is this woman Alice?" There were vampires in the pictures. A beautiful, smaller girl with black, spiky hair. She was smiling brightly next to a taller man with bronze hair. He was pretty, but I wouldn't call him beautiful by any means.

"Yes. And the man next to her is Edward, your ex-boyfriend." Jasper smiled me a watery smile.

"We broke up? When?" I was so confused. Wouldn't I remember him?

Suddenly, Jasper's face fell. "Well…" He closed his eyes and sighed. "Bella…He passed away when Alice did. And so did your other friend Jacob. I'm sorry."

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Are you alright, Bella?" Jasper asked softly.

"Jasper, you tell me that I loved them, but I don't remember them…" I wish I could cry, or at least feel some sort of loss.

"Bella, you lost your human memories. You can't feel bad because you don't remember them. The same thing happened to Alice."

Sighing, I looked at him. "You must have really loved her."

"More than anyone will ever know." He moved closer to me. "But Bella…I really care for you. And I know that it will become love soon." He looked into my eyes, and I looked back into his golden, liquid topaz eyes. "Very soon."

I smiled, and sighted slightly. "I hope so."

"To hell with this." Jasper said, and cradled my face with his left hand and pulled me towards him, kissing me very softly.

As we pulled apart, I smiled brighter than I think I ever have. "Jasper."

Jasper smiled and pulled me into a hug. "Bella."


	9. Hell Yeah!

**BPOV**

Oh my god. This was the best day of my life, or I guess undead life. Jasper had kissed me. But god, I still think he didn't love me, but he said he would soon.

We still sat in the meadow, and I just realized that I was still sitting in my bikini, and that Jasper and I just sat in silence. "Jasper?"

"Yes Bella?" He seemed lost in his own thoughts.

"I have to go get changed…" I smiled slightly, but then suddenly there was a soft noise, and I quickly shifted into a defensive crouch, and let out a loud growl.

"Bella, it is alright. It's just us." Emmett and Rosalie walked into the small clearing, and Emmett let out a whistle.

"Damn Bella. What are you two doing here?" Emmett asked, eyeing me.

I got out of my crouch, and looked at Jasper, who just smiled and answered. "I kissed her."

"Hell yeah, Jasper! Way to go!" Emmett walked forward, and stuck out his fist which Jasper hit with his own.

Rosalie ran over to me, and we hugged, and then started to jump up and down, cheering. The guys started to laugh, but our cheers turned into screams as we started to jump in a circle.

Finally, she let go and I smiled brightly. Jasper moved towards me, and slid his arm over my shoulder. "So I guess you guys are happy for us."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "God Jasper. It is about time! I mean, Emmett picked up on it." She looked up at her husband and pecked him on the cheek, and wrapped her arm around his waist.

Emmett looked at me again, and just smirked. Suddenly, Jasper hit him in the shoulder. "Dude, don't go there."

"Sorry, but just look at her! She is so hot!" Emmett said, eyes still locked on me. I dipped my head, and Jasper and Rosalie hit him at the same time. "Sorry Bella." He said in a mocking tone, which made us all chuckle.

"Let's go home." I smiled. Jasper was hugging me to his side, with his arm over my shoulder, and mine around his waist. God, this was heaven.

Emmett and Rosalie were in the same position that we were, and we all walked back to the house. When we entered, I had a thought. "Guys, can we please do something?"

Everyone looked at me. "Of course, Darlin'." Jasper said sweetly. Man, his voice alone was enough to make me fall to my knees.

"Could we talk about my human life? Try to make me remember who Jacob, Edward, and Alice were? Maybe look at pictures or something?" I hated having such a short memory, such a short life it seemed. I was what, only a few days old? Maybe a little more?

"That is a great idea! Rosalie, can you get the photo albums from Esme's room?" Jasper asked, and Rosalie ran off, while Emmett sat down on the couch, waiting for her to return.

Rosalie reappeared and handed Jasper the photo album, and went and sat on Emmett's lap. Jasper smiled and sat down on the chair, and I moved to sit next to him on the floor, but he smiled at me and patted his lap. If my heart was beating, I knew that would have stopped it. I moved over and sat on his lap, cuddling into his chest, letting out a sigh of contentment.

"Okay, so let's try this out. Who shall we start with?" Jasper asked me. Rosalie and Emmett were cuddled into each other, in their own land, which was fine with me.

"Um…I don't know. I guess Edward?" God this was weird.

"Okay." Jasper wrapped his right arm behind my back while it held the book, and his left hand to turn the pages. "Okay, here is one. This was you and him when you went to the prom." He pointed to the picture.

I stood there, in a dress, with a black boot on my right foot, and I was standing next to the same bronze haired vampire as in the other picture, but I still didn't know who he was. I tried to rack my brain, but I couldn't remember anything about him. Sighing, I shook my head. "Nope. Can we try Jacob?"

"Okay, well he is a little different." Jasper closed the photo album and shifted me so that I was looking at him. "Jacob was a werewolf. He was part of the pack of wolves that protect the people of Forks." He tried to read my face, trying to tell if I remembered him or not.

"No." I sighed and rested my head back against his chest. His skin felt good against mine as he wrapped his arms around me. "I know I won't remember Alice. Is there anything you can tell me? Like about the day I changed?" Anything was worth a shot, right?

I heard Rosalie and Emmett stop their muttering and they looked at us. Shit, this couldn't be good.

"Well, Bella. I don't know if that is such a good idea." He gently ran his hand down my face where my hair met my face.

"Please Jasper? I want to remember as much from my human life as I can, if possible." I kept my face on his chest, loving the feel of it rise and fall with each unnecessary but wonderful breath.

"Okay. There was a battle with some newborns that were created by Victoria, an evil vampire that wanted revenge on you. Edward had killed her mate, so she wanted to kill you; a mate for a mate. In the end, Alice, Jacob, and Edward never came back. You were devastated. You drove off a cliff. When I found you, you were so injured that I had no choice but to change you." His voice was pained as he recalled the memory.

I closed my eyes and tried to remember. Suddenly, I felt as if my lungs were about to burst, and all I saw was me, being in the car, under water, clawing for air. Sitting forward, I started gasping, as if I had just surfaced.

Jasper sat forward, wrapping his arms around me. "Jasper! I remember!" My memories of that day flooded back into my mind. The pain hit me with so much force I felt that I had just been hit by a truck. Although those memories hit me, that was all I knew of my human life. I could remember kissing Jacob before he left, and watching Edward kill Victoria. He dropped me off at the house with Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett as he finished up the battle. I never told him that I loved him.

"Bella, are you alright? Sorrow is rolling off you in waves." Jasper said softly, gently rubbing my arms.

"No…There dead…" I started to dry sob, leaning into his chest. "Jasper, I'm so sorry."

"For what, Darlin'?" His southern accent came out so much more when he said Darlin', and normally I would have been weak kneed, but I was too much in my own despair to notice.

"You lost Alice."

"But I gained you." He gently kissed the top of my head, and I was hit with calming waves.

"Thank you so much, Jasper." I leaned up and quickly kissed him on the cheek, and then put my head back on his chest, sighing in contentment.

"So, you remember Bella?" I heard Rosalie's voice.

"Well, not really. I only remember the last day of my human life, and then the burning pain…was that from the change?"

"Oh yeah. Trust me, nothing is as bad as that." Emmett was the one to answer me, which shocked me. I almost forgot he was here.

"Yeah…I guess…" I closed my eyes as Jasper started to rub my arms soothingly.

"So, what do you guys want to do?" Jasper asked calmly, but his head never moved. I was sure that he was looking at me the whole time.

"Bella, do you want to watch a movie?" Rosalie offered, and I thought that would be a good idea. If it was a horror movie, I could cuddle in Jasper's arms. If it was a chick flick, I could well…cuddle in Jasper's arms. Win win.

"Sure. I'll watch whatever." I reluctantly pulled back from Jasper's chest and looked at him.

"Whatever." He said with a shrug.

"Jaws!" Emmett screamed out, looking at Rosalie for approval, who just laughed and nodded.

Rosalie got up and walked over to the large flat screen TV, and started to search through the shelves next to it. She found it quickly and put it into the DVD player and went and sat back down on Emmett's lap.

Jasper pulled me up and then darted over to the couch, sitting down on the other side from Emmett and Rosalie.

I smiled and curled back into Jasper's chest, and watched the opening of the movie. There was a woman swimming in the ocean at night, and she got pulled under. She started to scream, and then was pulled under, and killed.

"Why does everyone think that screaming will help?" I asked mindlessly, not realizing that I said it out loud.

Jasper chuckled softly, and kissed my temple. "I guess you have a point."

We watched the movie, and then it got to the point where the men saw "Jaws" for the first time, on their boat. Emmett and I quoted the man at the same time. "We're ganna need a bigger boat."

I chuckled softly, and high-fived him happily.

Jasper looked at me, a confused look on his face. "My second foster family was in love with this movie. We watched it like every Friday." I smiled, and then realized something. "Wait, that is part of my human life!"

"Wow…you're right. I guess you remember things with different reminders. Good to know." Jasper chuckled again, and then hugged me tighter to him.

Finally. I had Jasper, and my old life was starting to come into focus. What could go wrong?

_Sorry, I wanted to have a slight horror story, an I watch Jaws every July 4__th__ with my family, although I hate sharks…I think I know why! Haha, hoped you enjoy. And, most likely at least, the big problem, that makes this rated M, will happen next chapter, hopefully. _


	10. Go To Hell

**BPOV**

"Guys, go ahead! I hunted yesterday, and none of you did!" I was trying to convince the family to go hunt. I went out yesterday to hunt, while none of my family had. They all had pitch black eyes, and it scared me.

"Bella, how about I stay here with you while the rest go hunt?" Jasper asked, trying to keep me safe, but his eyes were the darkest. While everyone else's eyes have only been black for one day, his has been black for at least two days, maybe three.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled. "Jasper, you know I would like that, but you need it just as much as they do. Please. For me." I gently kissed his cheek, hoping to sway him.

Sighing, Jasper smiled. "Fine, but we will only be gone for a few hours. We have to go to Canada, because we all can't hunt here, but call me if you need anything." He smiled, and we kissed softly. Only six day ago had Jasper told me that he would someday love me, and that he had feelings for me. We both wanted to go slow, so this was only our second kiss, and I cherished every second of it.

His lips on mine felt wonderful. They felt as if they were made for mine, and I wished we could just kiss until the end of time, but Emmett's rude cough cut us off, and we pulled apart.

"Damn you Emmett!" I gently and only slightly teasingly yelled at him.

"Sorry Bells, but I'm hungry!" Emmett said, and hugged Rosalie to him as he left the house.

"Call us if needed, alright Bella?" Carlisle asked, and when I nodded, he and Esme left the house, leaving only me and Jasper.

Smiling at him, I gently kissed his cheek, and then he kissed the tip of my nose, and hugged me. "Be safe." And then he was gone.

Sighing, I walked over and sat down on the couch, picking up the remote. Damn, what the hell was I going to do for the next few hours? There better be something good on TV. Looking through the channels, I settled on a sappy love movie.

Curling up on the couch, I let out a soft sigh, watching the movie. They were so in love, but they were just acting. It made me think about Jasper. He said that he _would _one day love me. But you know what? I could wait till the end of time, if that was what he needed.

I heard the door open, and I sat straight up, sniffing the air. I couldn't remember the scent, so I quickly moved into a defensive crouch, and moved away from the walls. If I got trapped in the corner, I might end up killing someone I shouldn't.

The vampire standing in front of me was tall, and had wind blown bronze hair. I remembered seeing him before, and then it hit me. "Edward?" It came out in a growl, and I staid I my crouch.

"Bella! You're a newborn? I'm so glad you remember me! Come here!" He opened his arms, but there was devious look in his eyes which made me think the worst was about to happen.

"Edward, I don't really remember you. I have no feelings for you. I only have feelings for Jasper." I staid in my crouch, and waited to see what he was about to do.

"Oh, do you know?" He pounced on me, and pinned me to the ground, but before I could fight back, he quickly whispered. "You stop me, or scream, you _will _never see your precious Jasper again. I will kill me, and leave you alone." His words shook me to my soul, and I knew that he meant it.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for this." Edward growled in my ear, and then I felt my shirt rip. I knew I could fight back, but I was sure that he would get away, and kill Jasper. I couldn't do that to Jasper, so I closed my eyes and hoped that it would end soon.

I then felt my pants and panties disappear and I wished that I could just die. I then felt him inside me, and his hands twisted in my hair, and I started to cry a tearless cry. One of his hands fell out of my hair, and he slapped me across my face. "You will look at me, bitch."

I slowly opened my eyes, and I knew I would never again forget that face. I let out a scream as he broke through my virginity, but he wouldn't stop. It hurt so bad, and yet he wouldn't stop, no matter how much I begged.

An hour later, he slapped me across the face once more, and then he was gone. This was the worst day of my life, and I just wanted to die. I pulled on my clothes quickly and ran upstairs, turning on the water, and jumping into the shower.

I fell down into a ball on the floor of the shower and started to sob. I had only put the clothes back on so I no longer felt exposed, so I no longer felt like he was next to me. I sobbed and sobbed dry sobs, I waited for Edward to just come back and kill me, but he didn't. Suddenly, I remembered my cell phone.

In a flash, I pulled my cell phone from out of my pocket, and was shocked that it was still dry. Sitting up so that the water no longer hit my head or the phone, I dialed Jasper's number. He answered it the first ring.

"Hey Darlin'. Is everything alright?" His voice was sweet and calm, but I could tell he was worried.

"Jasper! Edward came back! He…He isn't dead…Jasper…He…" I couldn't say that he raped me. I couldn't except it, but I also needed Jasper, and if I would have told him that he raped me, he would go and kill him right then and there.

"Bella, I knew I shouldn't have left you there alone. I'm so sorry! We are all coming back right now. We will be there in less than an hour. We were already on our way." I could hear him still breathing, but I couldn't say anything else, so I just kept sobbing, and put the phone outside of the shower and curled up into a ball, sobbing under the water of the shower.

I kept crying for an hour, and curled up in the shower, but I never felt any better. I could still feel Edward raping me, and I couldn't do anything to fix it. I heard the door slam shut downstairs at the same time that I was up in Jasper's arms.

"Bella, Bella. What happened. Darlin', please tell me." He started to rock me back and forth, now getting soaked from the water of the shower. I buried my face in his chest and sobbed, feeling so violated, feeling as if I was dead inside.

"Jasper! He…He…" I gasped, still sobbing. God, I wanted to kill Edward, but I knew that if I would do that, I'm sure that Edward would end up killing someone in my family.

"Bella, please. You need to tell me what happened." He kept rocking me, trying to give me calming waves, but I was too upset and horrified to feel it take any affect.

"He raped me. That son of a bitch raped me." I finally sobbed into his chest.

I felt Jasper growl, and he reached up and turned off the water of the shower and picked me up, still cradling me to his chest, and walked over to the bed, putting me down and then wrapping me in the comforter that I was laying on. He then picked me back up and brought me downstairs. I was still dry sobbing, and I wasn't sure if I would ever stop.

He sat down on the couch, even though he was soaked, he didn't hesitate to. He kept me to his chest, which gave me a very slight comfort. He started to gently stroke my hair. "It is okay Bella. He can't hurt you ever again." His voice was soothing, and my sobs were still there, but they were softer.

Emmett moved towards us, and kneeled down in front of me, gently rubbing his hands on my arm, but I cringed away, letting out a yelp. He pulled back and looked at Jasper. "What happened?" His voice was soft, and he was trying not to upset me anymore.

"The son of a bitch Edward raped her." As Jasper whispered this, I started to sob again. I hated being like this. Why did he have to do this to me? I was scared of Emmett, and I knew it would be same with Carlisle. Would it always be that this?

"That Bastard! He is going to hell, and I'm sending him there!" He growled, and my sobbing slowed, but I was still sobbing. Emmett would keep me safe, but I was still scared of him at the moment.

"Emmett, can you please go get Rosalie?" Jasper asked softly, and I tightened my grasp on his chest. "It is okay, Darlin'. I'm not going anywhere." I loosened my grip on his chest, and he pulled the comforter higher up on my sides, and hugged me tighter.

"Bella?" Rosalie's sweet voice was low, and it seemed as if she was crying as well.

"Rosalie?" I listened closely to make sure no one else was in the room, and took a quick sniff. It was only me, Rosalie, and Jasper. I slowly lifted my head and looked at Rosalie.

"Rose?" I still clutched Jasper tightly, but I felt better with just us there.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and I let go of Jasper with one hand so I could hug her, but still hug Jasper. I let go of her, and cuddled back into Jasper, still crying.

"Bella, I know how you are feeling. I'm so sorry. But, Bella, we will keep you safe. We won't let him hurt you ever again." She hugged me again, and then sat on the seat across from us, watching us closely.

I closed my eyes and let out a sigh, and managed to stop crying. "Where is Mom?" I had grown to calling Carlisle and Esme Dad and Mom. They were my family now, but I knew that once I saw Emmett or Carlisle, I would probably run away, or get ready to attack.

"Esme?" Rosalie called softly.

I looked up at Jasper. His eyes were black, but it was out of protection, not out of hunger. Leaning up, I gently kissed his cheek, but only for a split second. It almost felt wrong, but I knew that I had feelings for. Edward was an ass that raped me, but Jasper was kind and loving, and I truly cared for him.

Esme came in and looked at me, and she moved closer, and I hugged her. "Sweetie? I can ask Emmett and Carlisle to stay away for a little. They said that they completely understand." Her voice was sweet and loving, but slightly laved with pained.

"I don't know." I buried my face in Jasper's chest again, and he gently stroked my hair once again. "But tell them that I love them, and that I'm sorry."


	11. Living Hell

**BPOV**

Three days ago my life became a living hell. And since that moment, I was always curled up in Jasper's arms, and he didn't seem to mind. I did feel bad that I had problems being around Carlisle and Emmett, but they both assured me that they understood. I spent a good deal of time with Rosalie, because she kept helping me.

Opening my eyes, I looked up at Jasper. "How long?"

"How long what, Darlin'?" His southern accent always made me feel better, so I snuggled more into his chest. We were in his room, sitting in his chair. We were both wrapped up in his comforter.

"How long am I going to be broken?" I could tell how much the question hurt him, but I didn't want to see his reaction. I buried my face in his chest, and he kissed the top of my head while stroking my hair.

"Darlin'. You are broken. You're hurt. Don't worry, you will heal, and we will all be behind you until you do." He looked down at me, and I opened my eyes and sighed.

"Jasper, your eyes are black." I loosened my grip on his chest so that he could get up, but all he did was tighten his grip on me.

"So are your's." He said softly then sighed. "Let me get Emmett go get you something."

"No…can I?" I took a slow breath and leaned away from Jasper, shifting my weight so that I was facing the door.

"Can you do what?" He was confused, and it was clear. He changed his grip on my waist so that he was still hugging me, but so that I was in the position I wanted to be in.

"Can I talk to him?" I had to get over this. If I let myself live in fear from every male vampire, then Edward would win.

"Are you sure, Darlin'? You don't have to. He understands." He said softly.

"I know. Emmett, please?" I said slightly louder so that I knew Emmett would hear me. I sat, perched on the edge of Jasper's lap, waiting for Emmett to appear.

There was a soft knock on the door, and one quick sniff made me know it was Emmett. I slid back slightly on Jasper's lap, but only slightly. "Come in." I felt Jasper's arms tighten around my waist as he gently kissed my shoulder.

Emmett slowly opened the door and walked in ever so slowly entered, but staid by the door, keeping it open so I could escape if needed. "Hey Bells." His voice was weak, and it seemed as if he was scared that he might scare me, or that I might hurt him.

"Emmett." I felt so bad, but as I looked at him, I knew something. I knew that he would never hurt me. I knew that he was my brother, and that he cared for me. In a flash, I ran over to Emmett and hugged him tightly, lightly crying into his chest.

After a moment of figuring out what was happening, Emmett gently placed a hand on my back, and I felt safe. "Emmett, I'm so sorry! I know you did nothing wrong, I just was scared, and I didn't mean to upset you, and I know that it was Edward, not you, but I still couldn't do it. But I know you will keep me safe, and that you guys wont let me get hurt…" I started to babble so quickly I wasn't even sure if he heard, or understood it.

"Bells, it is okay. Don't worry about it. I'm just glad that your feeling better." He pulled back and gave me the little kid grin. "Want me to hunt for you two?" He knew me so well.

"Please?" I didn't want to force him to do something that he didn't want to do.

"Of course Bells." He started to kissed my forehead, but stopped, and back up, smiling. "I will catch you a nice grizzly." Smiling, he ran out of the room, and I slowly walked back over to Jasper and sat down, sighing.

"You did good Darlin'." I leaned back, and he wrapped his arms around me lovingly.

"No, I didn't. Good would be if I could go out there and hunt. Good would be going and running with him. Good would be hugging Carlisle and being a family again. Amazing would be going and killing that son of a bitch Edward." I looked at him with pain filled eyes. "I sucked."

"Bells. Emmett and Carlisle have been searching for Edward. They can't find him. You wont get hurt again. And you let Emmett back in. You are on the way to heal." He put his hand gently on my cheek, and all I could feel was Edward slapping me.

I jumped off his lap and went into a defensive crouch in the other corner of the room. As soon as his hand was no longer on my face, or once my brain registered that it was Jasper, I don't know which one it was, I fell into a heap on the floor. "That bastard ruined my life. I almost just attacked you, Jas…" I would kill Edward, one day, one way.

I was wrapped up in Jasper's arms once again, very soon. "Shhh. It is okay Darlin'. I didn't know that would trigger you. I'm sorry. I know it might be hard, but," He gulped loudly. What was going to happen next would be as hard for me as it would be for him. "But I need to know everything that he did to you. We need to know what would trigger his memory."

All I could think was that this was the man that Jasper told me that I loved, and wanted to be changed to so that I could spend eternity with. I was one stupid human, and now I was a broken vampire. How could he just do this to me?

"Bells, please." Jasper was begging now.

"He told me that if I screamed or ran off, he would kill you." I closed my eyes, remember every detail. "He pinned me to the ground and ripped off my shirt. I started to cry, and he slapped me, then yelled at me. He then raped me for an hour, and continued to slap me through the whole time. After he raped me, he smacked me hard again, and then left. I then ran into the shower, and called you." I started to shake at the memory, and even Jasper holding me couldn't comfort me.

I heard Jasper growl loudly, and clutch me to his chest, as if he held me tight enough, no one could get me, but I knew that was a lie. No one could keep me safe. No one could keep me safe from my thoughts.

**JPOV**

Hearing what the son of a bitch Edward did to my precious Bella made me want to run out and kill him. But I made a promise that I would catch him, once Bella could stay home without me, and I would rip him apart. Once only his torso was left, I would bring him to the house and have him tell us all what happened. What happened at the Newborn battle, and why he was still alive, and why no one else was.

Suddenly, the Major me took over. I had tried to keep the part of me that I was created to be dead, and buried under the surface, but I couldn't always. This had been my only trigger in the last decade.

Gripping Bella tighter, I tried to have her melt into me, to become part of me, because no one could physically hurt me. But when my "brother" Edward hurt Bella, he hurt my soul, my unbeating heart, he hurt me. It could only be compared to the pain that I felt when I lost Alice. Alice and I both knew that we weren't soul mates, but I did love her, but I was starting to love Bella more. Damn it! Bella was my soul mate, but right now all I could think about was how Edward had violated me.

I knew I had to protect her, I knew that I couldn't let anyone hurt her ever again. I let out a loud growl, and then shifted her so that Bella was sitting on the couch, and I was in a protective crouch in front of her, snarling. I had lost my control to the Major.

I then felt a small hand on my back. "Jasper? Please, don't…" Had she ever seen me like this? Had she ever seen me loosing control like this? No, I hadn't lost control like this since probably before she was born.

"Jasper, please. Please." She was begging. I stood up, and pulled her back into my arms, but pulled her out of the comforter, and then jumped through the window, breaking it into a loud shatter. "Jasper, where are we going?" She was still slightly scared, but I quickly gave her a calming wave, and she calmed. I needed her safe, and I could do that better if I took her where no one else was.

"We're going to a safe place." I knew that my voice came out in a slight growl, but I kept her calm.

Sniffing the air, I could tell that no one had been here for a while, at least a few months, and I smiled, sitting down, Bella still in my arms. "Are you alright, Darlin'?" I kept my voice kind. We were safe here, it was only the two of us.

**BPOV**

He took me out of the house, and I felt panicked, but only for a second before he quickly pumped me full calm, and I curled into his chest. We sat here, me in his arms, and he smiling down to me. But his eyes were black, but not out of hunger.

"Jas?" If I could calm him, then we could get back to the house were I was safe, where I knew that Edward couldn't get me.

"Bell?" No matter how much his eyes scared me, I knew that it was still my Jasper, still the Jasper that cared me.

"Can we please go back to the house?" His eyes were still black. Damn.

"But they will hurt you Bella. I can't let that happen." His voice was full of protection. He wanted me safe.

Suddenly, all I could think was that the only way I could bring my Jasper back fully was if I showed him that I loved him, no matter over protective he became. Leaning up, I put my fingers through his hair and smiled, and pulled him towards me, enjoying my newborn strength because I could bring him to my lips.

Our lips were molded for each other. I ran my lips over his, loving the sensation that shot through my body. At first the kiss was demanding, and as if we needed to know the feelings that we had for one another, but then it become gently, and compassionate, and all about the love and being here together.

Finally, we both pulled back and I smiled. His eyes were lighter, still black, but now just from hunger. I wrapped my arms gently around his neck and kissed his collar bone, making him shiver. "Can we please go home?"

"Anything for you Bella." He pulled me up, but I pulled out of his cradle.

"I'm not a human anymore. I can keep up." I wrapped my arm around his waist, and kissed his cheek. Then I ran off towards the house. I ran slower than I could, just because I needed Jasper by my side, and he was there. We ran, hand in hand, back to the house.


	12. Hell Can't Compare

**BPOV**

As soon as we got home we were greeted by everyone but Carlisle. Jasper wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him, but he didn't look like before, he was smiling.

"Love birds are back!" Emmett called and smiled. "Rosalie is watching the bear in the garage. She already ate, but you might want to go out there and get it."

"Well, could you tell her to eat it? Sorry to be a bother, but I would like to go hunting with Jasper." I felt bad making Emmett do all this, just for nothing.

"Sweet! I could only find one bear, so I kept it for you! Have fun love birds." He smirked, winked, then ran off.

"Do you mind?" I looked up at Jasper's black eyes. We rarely hunted together. I knew that if he got too close I would attack, and I felt terrible that I might hurt him, that I might kill him. I was filled with calm right away, and I rested my head on his shoulder, looking up at him through my lashes.

"Of course, Darlin'." He smiled down at me, and then lead me back outside. "Are you sure though?"

"Yeah, I just wanted my Jas back." I hugged him tighter, hoping that he wouldn't be upset about.

"I know. I'm sorry you had to see me like that. I tried to kill that side of me, but I just couldn't after hearing what he did to you." He shivered, but kept his eyes locked on me.

"It is alright. I know that you only did it because you cared for me. But…Can you do me a favor? I know it will be in the future, but I still want you to promise me something." If the demon comes out again, then screw it. He didn't hurt me, so why should it matter? I just needed him to promise me something.

"Anything Darlin'."

"Don't kill Edward." He looked down at me with a confused look.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I can promise that."

"Well, you didn't let me finish! Don't kill him. I want to." I let out a low growl, that was matched with Jasper's.

"As long as I can torture him first." I knew he meant it. I was sure that it would be something along the lines as him destroying him, but leaving him just enough for me to kill him.

We ran off and hunted. He caught two bucks, and I caught my own grizzly. Once we were done we met up and I looked at him, and all of his scars. "Jas?"

"Yes Darlin'?"

"Go get him."

His look was of pure confusion. "Get who?"

"Edward. Go get him, and bring him back. I want him dead, and I want it now." I could tell how menacing my voice was, but it only made him smile.

"Are you su-?"

I cut him off by kissing him. I ran my fingers through his hair, and felt his hands wrap around my back, pulling me closer to him. My fingers turned into a soft fist in his hair as we ran our mouths over the others. Finally, and sadly, we had to pull apart, but we just wrapped in each other's arms. "Be safe."

"I will Darlin'. I will be back as soon as I can. Come on, let me take you back home, say goodbyes, and then I will go."

"I'm going to miss you. You better come back to me as soon as you can, and that bastard better be with you." I didn't want to let go. I knew I was the one sending him away, but it still hurt. I started to cry softly.

Jasper picked me up and cradled me to his chest. Almost automatically I stopped crying and let out a content noise. I was shocked, it sounded like a purr. I looked up at Jasper, confused.

He just laughed and kissed the top of my head and ran to the house. Once we got to the door, he put me down and we walked into the house, hand in hand.

"Can everyone come here?" I called softly. This was a family matter, it was obvious.

Everyone appeared in seconds, all except Carlisle. "Carlisle, you too please." I gripped Jasper tighter. This would be hard, but I would need all of my family if Jasper was going to be gone.

Carlisle slowly walked in, and I met him, pulling him into a hug, ignoring the voice at the front of my head screaming at me that he would rape me, hurt me. "I'm sorry Daddy." I had grown accustom to calling Carlisle "daddy" and Esme "mommy", since they were the only family I could remember.

He hugged me back softly, and then I went back to Jasper, pulling him to me, my hand around his waist, his around my shoulder. "I'm sending Jasper out of find Edward." I rested my head on his shoulder, and he rested his cheek on my head.

"I just wanted to say goodbye before I left, and that I wanted you to keep her safe."

Everyone ran forward and hugged Jasper, and I stood by the side, waiting for my last hug. As soon as everyone parted, I ran over and he pulled me into a tight hug. "I'm going to miss you Darlin'."

"I'm going to miss you, too. You better come back in one piece." I leaned back and looked at him, and I knew that my eyes would be filled with tears that would never fall, and I saw it reflected in his eyes.

He pulled me into a sweet kiss, but it wasn't like before. I knew that Jasper could feel everyone else's emotions, and I knew most of them were feeling awkward, so he pulled away after only a second and I let out a soft whimper, but I held it back for the most part.

"Goodbye, I'll be back soon." And with that, we walked hand in hand out into the rain, and then he was gone. I watched where he had disappeared, and I was heartbroken. I welcomed the rain onto my ice cold skin, and felt my hair and clothes start to slightly weigh down on me as they became soaked.

I sat down and crossed my legs, not taking my eyes off of where Jasper had disappeared. After a few hours, and once it was pitch black out, I felt a small hand on both of my shoulders. Looking up, I saw Rosalie and Esme. I smiled a watery smile, and they wrapped me in a towel and led me into the house.

Sitting down on Jasper's bed, Rosalie ran off and reappeared with a pair of pajama's. There was a pair of teal pants and a black tank top. "Here you go, sweetie." She handed them to me.

Nodding, I took them, with towel still wrapped around me, and the clothes in my hand, I walked into the bathroom. Taking off my soaking clothes, I used my towel to completely dry off, but I was in a haze. Once I was sure that I was dry, I slipped on the clothes, liking the feel of the soft cotton to my granite skin.

Walking back into the room, Esme and Rosalie smiled. "Want to go watch a movie? We have "The Last Song" "The Notebook" "Dear John"?" Esme asked softly, and I shook my head quickly.

"No, no romance. Horror. We can watch it with Emmett." I looked at Esme. "Mom, I'll be fine. Go and hunt with Dad." Her eyes were too dark, I hated it.

"Okay. If you're sure sweetie." She gently kissed my cheek and then was gone.

Rosalie wrapped her arm around me, and then we walked downstairs. We sat down on the couch, and Emmett was already searching through the movies. "Is there a certain horror movie you want to watch Bells?"

"I don't typically watch horror, so you pick."

"Halloween it is!" He smiled, put it into the DVD player, and then sat down next to Rosalie, but kept distance.

"Guys, I'm fine really. Go ahead and be all lovey dovey." I looked at them and laughed, smiling a watery smile.

Suddenly, Rosalie was on Emmett's lap, and they were snuggled into each other. I put up a shield and ignored them, only thinking about the horror and the screams coming from the TV. But that could only last for so long.


	13. Welcome to Hell

_To traceybuie, Jasper is the Major of all Major's. Anyone who gets in his way, dead. Everyone knows it, and it is only Edward. No one is scared of him =p haha enjoy all!_

**JPOV**

I hated this. As I ran, I felt so alone without Bella next to me. I felt so alone, but my mind never left the fact that I was doing this for Bella. This was my fifth day tracking Edward. When I got hungry, I ate, but that was the only time I stopped. As I ran, I kept my mind fully on Bella, not on what I was going to do to Edward when I caught him.

His path was all over the place. He led me up to Alaska, but just before I got to the territory of the other vegetarian coven, Edward's trail turned and headed back into Canada. I was starting to get closer, because I started to find more and more freshly dead carcasses. As I smelled the air, I could easily tell that he was close, so I became silent, and staid downwind, keeping my mind blank.

I crept up, and then I saw him. He was dipped over a doe, drinking in the blood. At that moment I let out an ear splitting growl and jumped on him, flipping him over so he was facing me. I could feel the venom dripping from my mouth.

"Shit, Jasper!" I filled Edward with as much fear as I could, because then he was limp under me, no longer able to fight.

"You will pay for doing that to Bella. You will never forget this moment, for the short time that you will live." My eyes were black as the Major came out, and I knew it would take everything in me not to kill him on the stop.

Using my hands, I quickly pulled his hand up towards my face, and started to rip off each finger, and creating a pile off to the side. I then ripped off his hand, tossing it to the pile. Then his forearm was gone, then his upper arm. I repeated the action with his other hand, savoring the screams of agony from Edward.

I looked at Edward, and gave him a menacing smile, getting off of him. I knew he was in too much pain to move, but I filled him with fear anyway. "Edward, do you want to know what I'm going to do to you?" I heard the voice of the Major, and for once, I was happy. I could see the fear in Edward's eyes, even when I stopped pumping him with fear. He was fearing me on his own terms.

"N-no." God, I can't believe that he was my brother. I knew that if I killed him, even sweet little Esme wouldn't mind for too long.

"I'm going to take you back to my sweet Bella. You think I'm mad? God, I look like a trip to the candy store. You're scared now? You will be praying for death three seconds after she gets a hold of you." I got a thought then, and smiled. "I'll leave your legs in tack. More for Bella to destroy." I pulled out a silver Zippo lighter and walked over to the remains of his arms, and quickly lit it on fire.

Edward let out a cry of agony. I wasn't sure if it was because he knew he was going to die, or because he was in pain. In either way I couldn't care.

"Get up." I ordered. I didn't care that he probably wouldn't be able to, but he could try.

Edward flipped over to his stomach, got to his knees, and then managed to get to his feet, letting out screams of pain.

"Get what is left of you to the house." He was so hurt, he wouldn't be able to run, but we were only a few miles from home, so it wouldn't be hard. Why the hell he was back this close to home was beyond me, maybe he just wanted to die. He would get that wish, one way or another.

We trotted to the house. I staid behind him, and kept sending curses to him, and kept yelling at him to hurry up. God, he used to be the fastest, now he was barely faster than a normal human! If even that!

Finally we got to the house and I smirked, coming up and putting my hand on his back, shoving him through the door. "Hope you had a nice life."

Shoving him into the house, Edward fell into a heap on the floor, and I was wrapped up in Bella's arms.

**BPOV**

As I heard the thud, and smelled the bastard Edward, I jumped to my feet. When I saw Jasper next to him, I ran up and hugged him. It had been so long since I'd seen him last, or so it felt.

The feeling of Jasper's arms around me made me feel safe, even with Edward right there. Although, with one glance, I was put into a fit of laughter. "Jasper, you were nice enough to leave me all the fun. You do care." I pulled him into a hug again, and chuckled again. But, when I pulled back, I knew that my face was filled with pure anger.

"Anyone got a lighter?" Suddenly, the whole family was around me, and they all offered me a lighter, all but Carlisle and Esme. They looked at me and sighed.

"Edward, you have put Bella through hell and back. I know that I raised you better. I'm sorry to say it, but you don't deserve to live through this. I'm sorry, but goodbye." Esme said, but we could all tell how much this hurt her.

She hugged Carlisle while he said his final goodbyes. "Edward, you were the first vampire that I changed. At the time, I thought it was the right thing to do. But for you to ruin Bella's eternity…She will never heal. I can't watch you be destroyed. I'm sorry, but you brought this upon yourself." It was obvious how much this hurt them, and then they were gone, probably up to Canada for a while.

"Bella, please. Do me the favor of using mine." Emmett tossed me his black Zippo lighter and I smiled. All of our eyes were black, but I was shocked at how black and anger filled Emmett's was. I knew that Rosalie had been through this, so she understood. I was the one that was raped, and Jasper cared for me. I knew that Emmett was a protector, but I was filled with pride at the fact that he cared that much for me.

"So, Edward, how bad it is to see your face around here again. Now, I want answers, and I want them now." I flipped open the lighter and with a click, the flame appeared. The venom that was seeping out of Edward's wounds would be a nice fuel for the fire. This would be fun, but Carlisle was right. I would never heal. He broke me, and I would never be whole again. I started to tremble slightly and pace out of anger.

"What do you want to know?" Edward's voice was weak, and it looked as if each word was a struggle.

"Why the hell are you alive while Jacob and Alice aren't." I looked at the flame, and started to wave it back and forth. Esme would be so disappointed at the burn pattern on the floor. Oh well I will clean it up after all of this.

"I killed him. Alice was killed by a newborn, and Jacob just got in my way. I ran off so I wouldn't be caught." He coughed up venom and let out a cry of pain.

"Ah, so you are a scared little kid. I knew it." I stopped pacing and looked around. We had formed a square around his body. Emmett was growling, and Rosalie was hissing, and the Major was back. "What do you guys think we should do with him?" I wanted him to suffer. I wouldn't just kill him here and now. Hell no, that would be a gift to him.

"I say we rip him to shreds." Emmett growled out, and spat at Edward.

"I say we leave just his head, burn his body parts in front of him. Then he can see that he still doesn't get the sweet relief that he desires." Rosalie suggested. I liked that idea, but I could improve on it.

"What about his head?" Ah, sweet Jasper. Putting the final pieces together.

"See, I saw that we combine Emmett's and Rosalie's, but I will add my own twist. I saw we shred him to bits, leaving his head, then burn the shreds in front of him. And, since he did kill a wolf, might as well give his head to the pack." I had been reading up about the wolves since Jasper told me that Jacob used to be one of them. They traveled in packs, and they needed their revenge.

"I think we have a winner." Jasper hissed, clearly enjoying the idea.

We all lunged forward, ripping Edward to shreds. I ignored his cries of pain. I fought the urge to slap him as he did me. It would take me forever to just be able to do simple things, none no less make love with Jasper. He would suffer for what he did to me.

We pulled back and I smiled. His head was just above the shreds.

"You will look at me, bitch." I repeated the words that he said to me the day he raped me, and his eyes opened. I opened the lighter and leaned over. "Say goodbye." I put the flame to the shreds, and they caught on fire.

Edward let out a whimper as he wished that he could be on fire, wishing that the pain would end.

"Get me a box." Rosalie reappeared with a cardboard box, and I threw Edward's head into it, and I looked at Jasper. "Let's go for a ride."

We disappeared to the car, and I threw the cardboard box into the trunk, and locked it. I slid into the front seat and Jasper sat down in the passenger seat. "Where to Darlin'?"

"The pack, they deserve revenge just as much as I did." I looked at him and sighed. "Well not as much as I did, but they deserve something for their pain."


	14. He's Going To Hell

**BPOV**

Pulling up to Emily and Sam's house, I let out a low hiss. Jasper rested his hand on my shoulder. "You don't have to do this. We can just burn his head." A good idea, but then Edward wouldn't suffer as much as this.

I let out a loud growl, one that almost startled me. "No, I will do this. I need to, for Jacob." I didn't want to say Alice's name. If I would have, I fear that Jasper would want her over me.

"Okay, but let's make it quick. They all have blood in their veins. I don't want to push you."

Damn, I forgot about that. But I sniffed the air and nearly threw up. "Trust me, I would rather starve then drink that blood." It was so foul, I couldn't imagine eating it.

"Okay, just be careful, and I will be right next to you the whole time." We both got out of the car and I pulled out the cardboard box, smiling at the cries of pain that came from him.

"Darlin', just to be safe, could you hold your breath? Please? I want to be as safe as we can." He growled at the box, and then pecked me on the cheek and looked at the door.

"Let's go." I took a deep breath and then held it. I wanted to make sure that I didn't push it. But I was so angry with Edward, there would be no chance that I would even want blood.

I knocked on the door and was shocked when Seth answered the door and let out a light hiss. "Bella?"

"Yes Seth, it's me. I really don't have time to talk, but I need to talk to Sam, now." I looked at Jasper and smirked. "Actually, get the whole pack out in the clearing behind the house in five minutes, at most."

Jasper gave me a questioning look, and then we both disappeared behind the house. I tapped my foot, very impatient. Jasper held me closer to him, and I continued to hold my breath. They were taking forever!

Suddenly, everyone was around me. Sam, Emily, Paul, Quil, Embry, Leah, and Seth. (I'm drawing a blank, I don't know if there are others, sorry if I missed some) "Bella, I see you have been changed." Sam was clearly angry, but I knew that he would be furious after what I was about to tell him.

"Why are we letting two bloodsuckers on our land?" Leah, of course. Everyone kept telling me she was very over protective, and now I knew it was true.

"Because I have the bastard that killed Jacob, and I figured that you would want to rip him to shreds instead of me finishing the job." I shot right back at her, and threw the cardboard box into the center of the circle. "Oh, and you are letting three bloodsuckers onto your land, learn to use your sense of smell."

Leah growled at me, and I let out a growl of my own, much louder than hers. "Just open the box, he should explain everything."

Quil's interest over took his common sense. He ran forward and opened the box, then looked at me, taking a few steps back. "What the hell?"

"Edward didn't die. He apparently killed Jacob." Cue the growls from everyone, but I continued anyway. "And he decided to come back and rape me. So. I'm sorry that his head is all that you have to destroy." I looked at them, and took a step back.

"Thank you Bella." Sam sounded as if he meant it, and I dipped my head. I took a step back so that Jasper was in front of me, and then they all fazed, well all but Emily, who had disappeared into the house.

Jasper gripped me tightly behind him, and I struggled not to run.

Sam dipped his head, and then Jasper and I were gone. We were in the car, and I was pulling out before I even heard Edward cry in pain.

"God, I hope he rots in hell." I muttered, and glanced at the speedometer; 120 mph. Damn, I liked this.

"Don't worry, he will. I have no doubt about that." Suddenly, we were at our house and I sighed, putting my head very gently on the steering wheel. "How are you feeling Darlin'?" Jasper gently rubbed my back.

"I thought that once I destroyed the son of a bitch, I would feel better, feel whole because he can't come back and hurt me. But…I still feel like I'm in a million pieces." Why was I still ruined? I thought I would be healed.

"Bella, this is just a step towards you healing. Now you will know that he will never be able to come and get you, and we will all start to help you heal." I lifted my head and saw that he was at my door, open arms. I got out of the car and flew into his arms, pulling him into a tight hug.

"God I hope so." I whispered softly in his ear. I hated this, I still felt as if Edward would come and attack me at any moment. That bastard had ruined me, and I didn't think I would ever heal.

"You will. I swear, you will." He pulled back and he gave me a watery smile, and I gave him one back. "Come on, let's see if Rosalie and Emmett need help cleaning up the ashes." He chuckled. I knew that Emmett would be ready to make all sorts of jokes about this, and I would welcome them. A joke might take my mind off of this, although I doubted it.

Walking in, I was pulled into a bear hug from Emmett, and I let out a low, slow sigh. It was Emmett, don't run, don't fight. I was getting better at making my instincts shut up.

"Bella, I'm so happy that you got him!" He put me down and smiled. "We need to get you your own Zippo lighter!" He smiled brightly at me.

"Here." I pulled out the one that I borrowed and tossed it at him. He caught it and placed it in his pocket.

"Thanks. So, where did your trip lead you? Near dogs?" He wrinkled his nose, and Rosalie appeared, her eyes still black.

"Yeah, I dropped his head off to some hungry dogs…Rose, are you okay?" I felt Jasper move up next to me, and I gripped him to me tightly, almost hurting him. If Rosalie did something as it looked like she might, I would need someone to hold me back.

"That son of a bitch needs to be destroyed by us. How could you give him to those dogs! How do you know that they will kill him properly!" Her voice rose, and she spat venom. Emmett put his arm in front of her, holding her back.

Jasper moved in front of me, pushing me back away from Rosalie.

"Rosalie! It's their job to kill our kind! Jacob fought the newborns for us! He helped us! They know what they are doing! It is in their blood, their DNA!" I was angry now. I wasn't stupid, I knew that they knew their jobs.

Jasper and Emmett both looked at me with confused looks, but Rosalie stood their, growling and panting with rage, being held back by Emmett still.

"Darlin', how do you know that?" Jasper's voice was filled with confusion, and almost nothing else.

"What do you mean? I was told all of this when you found out! The whole pack agreed to fight with you guys! Edward kept me up in the mountains, and Jacob and Seth were there for a little, but then Jacob left to go fight. Victoria came and tried to kill me, Edward killed her, and then he dropped me off here. The pack is created to kill vampires! What do you mean how do I know?" I was so confused that my mind was momentarily pulled away from the fact that Rosalie might kill me.

"Bella, you're remembering your human life?" Jasper asked, and then whipped his head around. "Emmett, get Rosalie away here until she calms down, and make her calm down quickly." He then turned his attention back to me. "Is there anything else you remember?"

I kept my eyes on Rosalie, and then she was gone, as well as Emmett. I turned back to Jasper. "They're still in the house. Can we please go out to the lake?" I looked at him, begging. I didn't feel safe with Rosalie like this.

"Of course." He smiled, and he then held my hand, walking out of the house. I led the way towards the lake that I had found, not sure if Jasper knew where it was or not. I knew that we would be gone for a while, and I knew that it would be a hard and long day, or maybe even days.


	15. Hell, I love you

**BPOV**

Jasper sat down, and pulled me onto his lap. I leaned against his chest and started to fumble with the collar of his shirt, trying to stay calm.

"Darlin', this is just a beautiful view." He sighed and filled me with calming waves.

I looked up, expecting his gaze to be on the lake, but he was looking lovingly down at me. I giggled happily and covered my mouth. "That is so cheesy!" I expected that, but for him to actually say it made me laugh.

"Well it's true." He smiled down at me lovingly, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, shifting so I was facing him.

"Bella, I have something to tell you before we get into you're past."

I didn't know what was about to happen, but I just watched and waited to see what was about to happen.

"Bella…I know I told you a while ago that I didn't love you, but that I'm sure that the feelings I have for you will one day become love…" He shifted uncomfortably and rubbed the back of his neck.

If my heart still beat, I knew that it would have skipped a beat. No, don't get ahead of yourself. Maybe he is telling you that he was wrong. Maybe he is leaving you. No matter what I told myself, I couldn't help but get my hopes up. I didn't dare trust my voice, so I just nodded in encouragement.

"Bella…I was wrong. I mean, I was right, but I was wrong when I said…" He started to ramble, but then his eyes rested on me and he let out a sigh. "Hell, I love you Bella." My breath hitched as he said this.

How could this be? He loved me? Already? It couldn't be, he still loved Alice. I got to my feet and started pacing. If I could pace, I could think, and get a little space between Jasper and me.

"Darlin'? What's wrong?" God, his voice alone was enough to make me cry, if I could. There was no way I could look at him, there was too much pain in his voice, and I knew his face would show even more.

"You said that you love me."

"Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I thought that is what you wanted though, for me to love you." It went from pain, to pain and confusion. Damn, I screwed up.

"Jasper, that's not it. I mean, yes, I wanted you to love me, but you love Alice!" Suddenly, there was a deafening boom, a streak of lightening, and then it started to downpour. I was soaked in seconds, and I knew that Jasper would be the same.

"Bella, I do still love Alice, butt I'm _in _love with you. You have to understand that." I turned, and Jasper was looking at me with pleading eyes through his soaking wet hair.

"Jasper, I want to. You have no idea how much I want to, but it just can't be true. You and Alice were perfect for each other! You were soul mates!" I couldn't take this, but I stood my ground. If I ran now, I would be an ass, and I couldn't do that to Jasper.

"Bella, listen to me. Alice and I weren't soul mates. We knew that from the beginning, but we ended up loving one another, but I didn't fall for her like I did you. Bella, I love you. You need to realize that, please." His curly blonde locks were straight from the rain, and it was almost completely covering his eyes, but I could see the pain it them.

I thought about this for a moment. I made sense, I guess. And I did love him. I let go of all the confusion and anger that I had, and replaced it with love towards him. He must have felt it, because he was holding me suddenly and he planted his lips on mine. I thought that our other kisses were passionate, but this one was so much better.

Closing my eyes, I felt electricity spark from our lips. Even though I was a vampire, I could no longer smell or hear anything other than Jasper's soft and even, unneeded breaths and his sweet, wonderful scent. Pulling my arms up around his neck, I pulled him closer, being as gentle as I could, but I still think it was too hard. I intertwined my fingers in his hair, and I felt his hands run along my back.

After what was too short of a time, he pulled back and smiled at me. "You just made me that happiest vampire on this earth." He rested his forehead on mine and I smiled. This had to be a dream. This was all going too well, it was almost like a dream, and I knew it was wrong, but I no longer cared.

"You can't be happier than I am." I kept my arms wrapped loosely around his neck, and he shifted his arms so that they were around my waist.

Jasper chuckled softly, which made me laugh. I looked up to the sky and then looked back at Jasper. "Just like the Notebook." I giggled softly and gently kissed the tip of his nose.

"I love that book." Okay, he was a liar.

"That is not true. It's a chick book." I loved the feel of Jasper's warm skin on mine. It was only warm because we were the same temperature, but I still loved it. The feeling of the rain drops falling on my skin made me giggled slightly; it almost tickled.

"Well it is now my favorite. I understand why this is one of the most popular scenes in it. I love it." He smiled and then sighed. "Come on, lets get out of the rain so we can talk about your past."

I nodded happily, but I didn't want to let go of him. We both stood there for a moment more, and then Jasper pulled apart. I let out a soft whimper, but then he put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

Leaning up, I kissed his cheek and smiled. "Come on." I loved the rain, but it would be easier to talk without the rain falling into our faces.

We walked under the cover of the trees and we sat down, and he quickly pulled me onto his lap again. I buried my face into his chest and let out a content sigh. "And now the hard part."

"Bella, you have no idea how hard it was for me to convince you that I love you." He gently kissed the top of my soaking head, and I looked up at him, smiling.

Reaching up, I gently pushed the hair out of his eyes and smiled. "Much better."

He leaned his head into my touch and let out a soft purr. "I love you." He whispered. I let out a purr of my own at the words. They just sounded so right when he said it.

"I love you too, Jasper." I leaned against his chest again and sighed. "Okay, we are going to have to talk about my past sooner or later." I let out another sigh. "This is going to be rough, isn't it?" I looked up at him.

He nodded and I smiled back. "Let's get it over with then." I suddenly felt uncomfortable sitting on Jasper's lap, so I got off his lap, with a slight wince of confusion from Jasper, and laid down. I patted the spot next to me, and he finally understood.

He laid down next to me, and wrapped his arms around me, and put my head on his chest, and rested his cheek on the top of my head. "So, let's start easier. Do you remember Charlie?"

I thought for a second, and was surprised that I did. "Yeah. He was my father and a police officer, right?" Oh I hoped I was right.

"Yes he is. Do you remember Renee?"

"Wait, if Charlie was my dad, then what did you tell him when I changed?" I sat straight up, and looked at him. Had anyone told him anything?

"Darlin', do you remember why I had to change you?" He sat up and looked at me carefully, judging my emotions and reactions.

Closing my eyes, I tried to remember. Opening them, I sighed. "All I remember is being in the water. Then I couldn't breath, and it black. I felt cold hands pull me out of the water. The pain was unbearable, and then I was awake." I looked at him, hoping I was right.

"Yes, but what you don't remember is that you drove your truck off the side of a cliff after you found out Alice, Jacob, and Edward were dead." I felt his hand on mine, and he gently pulled me down to the ground again. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head and let out a slow sigh. "Back to Charlie." I knew that I could get distracted easily, but I needed to know this, and if that meant we sat here for hours until we get it all done, then so be it.

"Well, like you said, he is a police officer, chief actually. Well he found your truck at the bottom of the ocean." I let out a soft wince as I thought of Charlie having to go through that. "Do you remember Renee?"

I thought for a moment, and then gave up. "No, who is she?"

Jasper tightened his grip on me, and I knew that it was a bad sign that I didn't remember her. "She was your mother. She lives in Florida. Charlie called her and told her. She came up for your memorial. You lived with her for most of your life, but you just recently moved in with Charlie so that your mom and her boyfriend Phil could travel with his baseball career." It was hard to hear things about your mother, when you don't even know who she is.

I rested my head on Jasper's chest, and we talked for another ten hours about my past, and what I remembered, and what he had to tell me. It was hard to listen to, and I knew that Jasper was the only reason why it was bearable, but I staid, and listened to the man that I love, and who loves me back.

_This is my favorite chapter so far. I don't usually read it after I write the chapter, but I read this chapter twice! I just think it is cute. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!_


	16. Memories Creaping Back From Hell

**BPOV**

After Jasper and I had talked about my past, we just laid there. I tried to soak it all in, but it was so hard. I had a father, mother, best friends, and a life that I couldn't remember without assistance.

We laid there for another two hours in silence, lost in our own thoughts. Finally, he kissed my cheek and looked at me. "How are you holding up?" His voice was music to my ears after the two hours of silence.

"I'm confused, and a little upset. I just wish that I could remember more of this stuff, of my past, without so much help." I lifted my head so that I could look into Jasper's eyes.

"I know Darlin'. I know." He pulled me up so that he could cover my face in soft kisses. He kissed my forehead, my left cheek, my chin, my right cheek, my nose, and then finally my lips. Our kisses, no matter how quick, like this one, was filled with love and passion. Although I couldn't remember Edward's kisses, I knew that they couldn't compare.

When he pulled away, I looked at him and let out a soft sigh. "I love you Jasper."

"I love you Bella. More than you could ever know." He sat up, which caused me to sit up.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled. "Oh, I think I know." This was amazing. Just me and Jasper, no one else. That didn't last long.

"Are you lovebirds ever coming home? Esme and Carlisle are back, and they are freaking out." Damn Emmett, damn instincts.

I automatically jumped off of Jasper's lap and moved into a defensive crouch, a growl ripping through my chest. Emmett walked through the clearing, hands up in surrender.

"Damn it Emmett." I stood up and was pulled into a hug by Jasper.

"Emmett, really? Couldn't you just wait until we got home?" Jasper sounded just as upset as I was. I was upset because I nearly attacked Emmett, but why was Jasper upset?

"Sorry dude, but like I said, Mom and Dad are flipping." Emmett shrugged and laughed, but then got serious. "Did you remember any of your past?"

"Yes, with Jasper's help. That is why we have been out here for so long. Come on, I guess we have to go see Mom and Dad." I wasn't mad that I had to see my parents, I mean I love them, I just wanted to stay here with Jasper, all alone.

Emmett nodded, then was gone. Jasper tightened his grip on me slightly, in a loving and protective way. "Darlin'? I'm getting some pretty mixed emotions coming from you, are you alright?" That's right, damn mind reader.

"Y-yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking about the memories that I can remember." I reached my arm around his waist, as he did with me. "Come on, I'll be fine."

As we walked home, I got a thought. "Jasper, are we soul mates?" I felt so in love with him, but I wasn't sure if we were soul mates.

He forced me to stop walking and looked at me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer. "Bella, I thought that I couldn't be in love with anyone more that Alice." I dipped my head away. I knew it! He still loves Alice.

"Come on, let me finish." He tilted my head towards him so that I had to look at him. His southern accent made me do whatever he wanted. "But I was wrong. I loved Alice, and in many ways I still do, but not the way I love you. You make my undead heart sing when you talk to me. You make electricity course through my veins at each touch. With each kiss you make me want to laugh and to cry with joy of having you in my life. I can never deserve you, but I will try until the end of time to."

I was overwhelmed with joy, and I wished I could cry. I grabbed Jasper around the neck and pulled our bodies together. "Jasper! I love you so much! That was the most heartfelt speech I have ever heard! I wish I could express my love for you in such a way, but I can't. I'm sorry. And it is not you that you don't deserve me, it is the other way around. I don't deserve you Jasper! No matter how long we last, I can never amount to you." I started to dry sob happy sobs into his chest, and he gently hushed me.

"Darlin'. I can feel how much you love me, and that speaks louder than words. I love you, my Bella."

I loved the sound of that. "Your Bella. That sounds perfect." I looked up at him and gently kissed him. "Come on, Mom and Dad are waiting." He slid his arm around my waist, and I did the same with him, smiling.

We walked home like that, and once we arrived I let out a sigh but smiled, walking into the house. The moment I saw my parents I ran in and gave them each a hug.

"Bella, how are you holding up sweetie?" Esme said as we pulled apart.

"I'm okay, a lot better than I was before, but still not perfect. Jasper is really helping me through it." I smiled and moved back and sat down on the couch, leaning against Jasper as he sat down next to me. I rested my arm on his, and intertwined our fingers.

"I'm glad. Have you remembered any of your past?" Carlisle asked as Emmett and Rosalie slowly entered. I cringed as Rosalie passed, and she hung her head slightly.

"What happened? I don't want my children to fight." Esme asked softly, truly confused.

Emmett and Rosalie sat on the other side of the room and looked at us. "Bella, I'm so sorry." Rosalie whispered. I wanted to forgive her, but all I kept thinking was the face she had when I got back from the pack. Emmett slowly stroked her arm, trying to calm her.

"Rosalie, what was that? Your eyes were black, and you looked as if you wanted to kill me. Please, tell me what that was about." Although I was scared, I knew that Jasper would never let her get near me. Jasper mimicked Emmett's soothing notion, and I let out a slight sigh. He was calming me, both with his presence, and his gift.

"Because, I know what you went through. I went back and killed the bastards myself, but you let the pack finish him off. I wanted to make sure that you were safe. I didn't want to kill my brother, but I wanted the bastard dead. I'm sorry I went off on you, I just was remembering how I felt. I just wanted to help you." Poor Rose. I could tell how pained she was by the fact that she didn't look at me.

I got up, with a slight growl of warning from Jasper. I looked at him and made myself completely and utterly calm, and he nodded slightly. I walked over to Rosalie and pulled her into a hug, once again fighting my stupid newborn instincts.

"Thank you Rosalie." I whispered, just loud enough that Rosalie and possibly Emmett.

"For what? I turned into a monster." Another growl from Jasper, but I ignored him. He was thinking about the monster he becomes when he is upset, and I knew that he thought that Rosalie didn't deserve to use that word.

"Because you did it out of love and care, not to hurt me." I pulled back and smiled. "I'm fine. Actually, I'm touched that you would care that much about me."

"Bella, thank you so much!" She hugged me again, and then I walked over and sat down next to Jasper, leaning against his chest. "And you mister, you need to stop with the growling, now." I tried to say it firmly, but I ended up giggling when Emmett did.

"Mom, Dad! You can come back now." I knew that they already knew, but they didn't want to come in and scare me.

They walked in painfully slowly. Damn, I was causing all of my family to suffer, but they had been through it before, I would just need to get over it sooner than the rest.

"So, you ready to go back down memory lane?" Carlisle asked, sitting down next to Esme on the ground.

"Sure, just remember. It is a lane stained with tears." I whispered, and leaned into Jasper. This would be a long day.


	17. Hell's Love Song

**BPOV**

As I leaned into Jasper, I let out a soft sigh. I just went through my past once again, and it was just as hard and the first time. We had spent five hours, because we only went into half of the stuff as before, because Carlisle knew that was hard for me, and he only asked what he needed to know.

"You alright Bells?" Jasper asked softly. I loved it when he called me Bells, just as much as I loved it when he called me Darlin'.

"Yeah, it is just hard to realize that my best friend, and my basic sister are dead, and now I remember them. It hurts." I closed my eyes, wanting to forget. I knew that I was happier that I remembered Charlie and Renee, well slightly, but I know remembered all the bad memories as well. It sucked.

"I know, I know." He gently stroked my hair. I could tell how pained he was that Alice was gone, and it hurt me even more. How come I couldn't be enough for him? No, he loved me, he told me that.

"Dad? Can you do me a favor?" I lifted my head, looking straight at Carlisle. He had to do this for me, because I couldn't do it for myself.

"Sure. What do you need?" He asked, looking to Jasper for assistance.

"Can we have a memorial for Alice and Jacob? I mean, say a few words, get a grave stone, stuff like that? I wanted a place to go and mourn and remember them." I looked down at my hands, hoping he would agree.

"Of course Bella. That would be a great idea. I will get right on that." I lifted my head and I saw him stand up but stopped. "Do you want to help me plan it?"

I looked at Jasper, and he nodded and smiled the wonderful, one of a kind smile that I loved. Looking back at Carlisle, I smiled. "I would love that."

"Okay, we will start when you are ready. But I'm going to go hunting with Esme, and when I come back we can start." He smiled, and then was gone.

Emmett smiled at me, as well as Rosalie. Jasper pulled me closer and kissed me gently on the cheek. "That is an amazing idea, Darlin'." He gently rubbed my arm and I smiled up at him.

"You think so?"

"Even I think it is a great idea." Emmett piped in and I looked over at him. He and Rosalie were on their feet and they smiled. "Okay, we're going to hunt also." He smiled at Rosalie, and then they were gone.

I was suddenly shifted so that I was kneeing on Jasper's lap, and at his eye level. He let out a soft purr and smiled at me, gently pressing his hand to my cheek and pulling me closer. "I love you Bella, everything that you are, and everything that you will be."

"Jasper, you are everything and even more than I could ask for or dream of. I love you more than anything in this world. I need you more than humans need air, or we need any blood." I then placed my hand on his cheek and smiled, resting my forehead on his.

"You took the words out of my mouth." He gently moved his hand from my cheek to my hair, and pulled my lips to his. I put both of my hands in his blonde locks and gripped his hair. Although I loved him dearly, it was hard to get past my newborn instincts to get part to this loving point, but with Jasper it was pretty easy.

We pulled apart and I smiled. "Promise me something?" I whispered softly, keeping my red eyes locked with his golden ones.

"I will promise you the moon and the stars, Darlin'." He whispered back just as lovingly.

"Promise me that you will never leave me." I knew that I couldn't make it if Jasper left me.

"Never Darlin'. I will be here until you send me away." He hugged me to his chest, and then we stood. "So, shall we start making plans for the memorial?" He held out his elbow, and I linked arms with him, leaning my head against his shoulder, and we ran upstairs. He opened the door to his room and I smiled.

I loved his room. It was filled with books, and it was just beautiful. And best of all, it smelled like Jasper.

Walking over to the bed, I sat on the edge, and Jasper came over with his laptop and sat down next to me.

"So, are you going to be okay with planning this?" He asked, opening the laptop and booting it up.

"Yeah. Don't worry, I will be slightly upset, but I can handle it. I want to do this." I sighed and looked at the computer screen, trying to think of what would be needed for the memorial.

"Okay, and I'll be here if you need me." He smirked at me and then started to rapidly type on the laptop. Getting to my feet, I walked over to the oak desk in his room and looked at him.

"Do you have any paper and pens?" If I could write the stuff down, Jasper could order it online, and then that would be a good start.

"Third drawer from the top." He said, eyes still locked on the screen.

"Thanks." I opened the drawer and saw a notepad, and three pens. I picked up one and let out a sigh. This would be a challenge to not destroy the pen. I barely cradled the pen, barely touching it.

I slowly slid onto the bed, and laid down on my stomach, my head down towards Jasper. I smiled up at him and very carefully and slowly looked at the papers on the pad. "Jasper, what is this?" I whispered. They were songs, and they were wonderful.

"Well…" He sighed and looked down at me. "I write songs for my guitar. But they are just amateur songs, nothing that interesting."

As I looked up at Jasper, I smiled. "Jasper, these are amazing. I've never heard anything this amazing. Would you be willing to play me one of them?"

Jasper smiled down at me and took a deep breath. "How about another time? I haven't made a song that is suitable for you to hear, but when I do, I will sing it to you. I promise." He gently started to stroke my hair.

Sighing, I looked up at him. "Fine." I gently grabbed his hand and kissed it. "But it better be soon."

He lowered his head towards mine and kissed my forehead. "Of course."

I looked down at the pad and started to read the songs, but then decided that I would have to write down the items for the memorial. Carefully, I flipped the papers until I found a new piece of paper and gently grabbed the pen.

I started to write down materials. I knew that only the Cullen's would be there, but I still wanted it to be nice. I started the list, but it got harder as I kept writing. Flowers, speeches, gravestones… That was when I lost it. I accidentally snapped the pen in my hand. "Damn it." I quickly went over and threw it out in the trashcan before a single drop of ink could touch anything.

"It is okay Bells, you were doing great up until that." Jasper smiled at me. I smiled, grabbed a new pen, and then went back to my spot, and continued to write.

After an hour, I had a decent sized list, and I would read it to Jasper every once in a while so he could start to order it.

Once the hour was done, I got up and sighed. "Okay, enough of this. Want to go to the lake for a little?" I loved the lake. It was our place now. Looking outside I realized it was pitch black, but it would be romantic. We could look at the stars.

"Sounds wonderful." Jasper got to his feet, closed his laptop, and put his arm around my waist as I did with his. We walked out of his room, and down the stairs. No one was home, but I couldn't careless. We walked out the door and towards the lake, our lake, our place.

_I stink at writing lyrics. If someone could write a short love song, but I need it not to be an actual song, if possible. I can't write any, so if someone would be nice enough to do so, I would owe you big time, and I could base a character off of you if you would let me! Please! I need help readers! Thank you all so much!_


	18. Hell Leaves Scars

_I'm upset! I got one review I think for my new chapter! One! So I thank misscullenwannabe95 for that review. But guys! I really need those song lyrics! Even if it is just a chorus! PLEASE! I wanted it in this chapter, but that dream is down the toilet, so maybe next chapter…if I get an reviews with the song… And I just read donna79's review. Yes, please! So if you can't write a song, if you could just send me one that is really cute that you like then that can work to! Thanks all!_

**BPOV**

Sitting down on Jasper's lap, I felt safe, I felt secure, but over all, I felt loved.

"Darlin'? Are you alright? You suddenly have a lot of love coming off of you." Jasper said softly and used his thumb to gently brush a piece of my hazel hair out of my face.

"Well how could I not when I have you?" I didn't even think before I responded, and I thought it was a good response. I smiled at him and gently placed my hand on his cheek.

"I feel the same way." He smiled at me brightly. God, his smile made me weak kneed, not to mention his accent! I was the luckiest vampire/person in the world.

"I love you Bella. I really do." He whispered, his breath hitting my face as he talked. I savored every moment of it, not to mention the wonderful, addictive smell. 

"I love you, Jasper." I pulled him towards me as gently as I could, and I think I succeeded. His lips molded to mine as if they were made for each other. He still understood that I was still hurt, still in pieces, but he was putting me back together. He never pushed me too far, or even push me at all. He let me "call the shots" almost, only doing what I asked, not what he wanted.

Our kiss was slow and passionate, and it was wonderful. As we pulled back, I smiled wickedly.

"What?" Jasper asked, smiling a half smile. He was ready for it, no matter what it was. 

"Lets go swim." I loved the feel of water on my cold granite skin. 

Suddenly, Jasper's smile faded, and he was suddenly on his feet, which was just too fast. I dug my hands into the ground, forcing myself not to fight. He was fast, and that made my instincts kick in. I felt the need to fight him, but I had to keep myself from doing that. I love him, I could never hurt him.

After a few deep breaths, I let go of the clumps of earth that I had pulled up and stood up slowly. "Jasper? What is wrong?" I felt hurt. He was all the way across the clearing.

"Bella…I can't…" His voice was just a whisper, but I heard it clearly.

"Jasper…I didn't mean to upset you, but I don't know what to tell you… You can't what?" I was so confused, but I kept my gaze locked on Jasper. His head was bent, and he didn't look at me. What was wrong?

"I doubt you remember, but I told you a while ago, when you were human, about my past. I was a major in the war, and basically a major in a vampire army. I…Bella, scars from those days never leave."

He thought I was so shallow I would be scared by a few scars? I sped over to him and gently forced him to raise his head. "Jasper Hale (or Whitlock, whichever you want). I love you how you are. Every last bit of you. Nothing could or will change that. I don't care if you are missing an arm! I love you for you."

Thankfully, he smiled his wonderfully perfect smile and sighed. "Bella, I don't want to scare you." His smile faded then, but he kept his eyes locked on mine.

"Jasper, you wont. Now, can we please go swim?" He wouldn't be able to scare me. I had been raped by a damn vampire, a silly scar wouldn't scare me.

"Bella…" He protested but I just shook my head and he sighed. He slowly brushed his lips against mine, but it ended too quickly. "I warned you."

I rolled my eyes and turned around, stripping down to my bikini which Rose bought me. I had wanted to go swimming all day, so I just was prepared.

Turning back around I saw Jasper had taken off his long sleeve shirt. Yes, he was covered in scars, but did it scar me? Hell no! Once again, he wouldn't make eye contact with me. This man was stubborn.

I walked forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, smiling. "Jasper, you are the empathy, so tell me, what am I feeling?" One good thing about his gift? I couldn't lie about my emotions.

Still not looking at me, Jasper sighed. "Only love."

"Damn it Jasper! I'm tired of doing this! I love you! Your scars don't bother me!" I yelled. This was stupid. I was done with this!

Jasper looked at me and smiled. Before he could protest again, I crushed my lips to his, not caring to be extremely gently. Suddenly, our kiss being slow and passionate again, and then we pulled apart. "Okay?" I asked, really pissed if he didn't believe me.

"Okay." He smiled, picked me up, and threw me deep into the water.

Resurfacing, I nearly growled at him. "What the hell?"

Jasper dove into the water and then slowly immerged a few yards away from me, away from my reach. Only his eyes were exposed, and he looked hot.

I launched myself at him, and pushed him to the bottom of the lake. Not needing to breath had its perks. Pinning him to the bottom, I smirked devilishly. He looked hot, and not scared at all.

I loosened my grip on him, scared that I would hurt him. That moment, Jasper very slowly stood up and then pushed me down to the bottom and smirked at me. Then he was gone.

Quickly, I resurfaced and looked around. Damn it! He was sitting on the edge of the water. I quickly ran over to him and sat down next to him, leaning my head against him.

My head bounced up and down as he chuckled. "That was fun." He looked at me and smirked, then reached his hand over and gently placed it on my arm. "Care to star watch with me?" He whispered.

"I wouldn't want to do anything else." I smiled, kissed his cheek gently, then laid down next to him, resting my head on his shoulder again.

Jasper kept his gaze on the stars, but I kept mine on him. Very gently, I traced some of the scars on his chest. He said that they were terrible and would scare me, but it made him who he was, and to me it was like a piece of grand art.

"They really don't bother you?" He whispered softly.

"No, of course not. Jasper, they are part of you. Nothing that is part of you could bother me in any shape or form." I let out a content sigh and closed my eyes.

We laid like that for about an hour, then I saw that the sun was starting to come up. "We have to go home now, don't we?" I wish that we could just have a house with the two of us, but right now was not the time.

"Yes, we do Darlin'." He sat up and walked over to the pile of our clothes, and I followed.

Very carefully I slid on my pants, and smiled. No tears, no rips. I reached for my shirt and started to put it on, and realized Jasper was staring at me. Rip! Damn it! I really liked that shirt. "What Jasper?" I asked, tossing the fabric to the ground.

Jasper chuckled. "I was just thinking about how beautiful you look in that bathing suit. Here, allow me." He said, picking up his shirt, and then slid it over my head and straightened it out, taking a step back. He smiled.

"How do I look?" I asked, smiling. The shirt smelled like him, and it also meant that I could see him shirtless for a little while longer.

"You need to wear my clothes from now on." He laughed, then held out his arm. "Shall we?" I loved how he talked.

"We shall." I linked arms with him and we walked back to the house.


	19. Hell's Scars Scares The Weak

**BPOV**

As we walked back into the house, I let out a sigh. Now we would have to go back to working on the memorial for Alice and Jacob, but mainly Alice.

"Darlin'? Are you alright?" Jasper pulled us to a stop, just yards in front of the house. I guess my emotions were stronger than I expected.

"Yeah, Jas. I'm fine, just thinking. Sorry." I leaned up and gently pecked his cheek, then rested my head on his bare shoulder.

"Alright Darlin'. Just tell me if you need something." We started to walk again, but I wasn't even paying attention to where I was walking. How am I so lucky to end up with Jasper? He's the sweetest man I know, and I ended up with him. How, I ask, how?

As we walked into the house, I looked around. Suddenly Emmett was in front of me, and he was pushing me to my limits. I let out a growl, and suddenly Jasper was in front of me, looking deep in my eyes.

"Darlin', it is okay. It's just Emmett." He gently ran his hands up and down my arms, then pulled me into a gentle hug.

Looking at Emmett, I saw his eyes were huge, and locked on Jasper's back. Wait, his back… His scars? That was it, I completely lost it. I pulled away from Jasper and got into Emmett's face. "What are you looking at?" My question came out in a growl.

"Bella, I'm sorry. It's just that his scars…" I reached my hand up and pointed my claw like finger in his face.

"There is nothing wrong with Jasper! The scars are part of him! If you have a problem with his scars, then we will have a problem. I love Jasper, every part of him! If you have a problem with his scars, you better tell me right now. And if you do you might want to say goodbye, because once I'm done with you there will be nothing left!" I was hissing at him now, and I could tell he was scared.

I then felt Jasper's arms wrap around and pull my arms behind my back, and then quickly started to drag me upstairs, although I was still hissing and growling.

After he dragged me into his room, he put me down onto the bed and then was gone. With a quick glance I saw that he was standing in front of the door, looking at me with pleading eyes.

I got up and started to pace. I was so angry, I couldn't control it. How dare Emmett say that, how dare he do that. No wonder why Jasper was scared to show me his scars! Even his family was scared of his past because of it, but why? Jasper is Jasper, no matter how many scars he has on his body.

I could feel the venom drip down my chin as I hissed and growled. Suddenly, I felt Jasper grab me and turn me around to look at him, and his eyes were full of sorrow, and he was pleading me to stop, but I couldn't.

"Bella, you have to understand. It is hard for our family to see my scars, it reminds them about the man I was before."

"Well screw that! That man made you the man you are today! The loving, kind, compassionate man that I love! How dare they look at you any different when your scars are exposed!" This was crap. Jasper was my love, my mate, no matter how many scars he had!

"Bella, I know that, but it is hard for them to understand exactly. No one truly knows the battles that I fought, and what I did to earn these scars." He looked away, and I realized how much this pained him.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and tilted my head away, swallowing the venom that was pooling in my mouth. It took all I had to calm down, but that thought that I was hurting Jasper was enough to make me calm down.

"Jasper, I'm sorry. It is just hard to see your brother look at you like that." I sat down and put my head in my hands. I was hurting everyone, and the worse part was that I was only upset that I was paining Jasper.

I felt the bed next to me dip slightly as Jasper sat down. "Bella, he is _our _brother, and I understand. It is hard for me to, but I need you to know that not all of them are as understanding as you are."

Looking at him, I saw his beautiful smile and I pulled him into a hug. "Oh Jas!" I nearly cried out. Pulling back I smiled and gently kissed him on the cheek.

He grabbed my face between both of his hands and looked into my red eyes, as I looked into his copper-gold ones. "Bella, I love you." His southern accent was coming through more than usual, and I knew he was forcing it to make me weak kneed, and I loved it.

With a gentle ease, he pulled my lips to his as we gently molded to each other in the century old dance of passion. My hand slipped up to his long curly locks and I smiled in our kiss, which caused us to pull apart.

"I love you, Jasper." I whispered, and rested my head on his forehead. I let out a sigh and flopped back onto the bed. "Jas, I'm scared." My voice was a whisper, almost like a whimper.

"For what, Darlin'?" He continued to sit where he was, but I could tell it was out of caution. Since Edward had ruined me and shattered me into a thousand pieces, Jasper had never laid near me on a bed, or actually sat next to me on a bed until today.

"To talk to Emmett right now. Is it okay if we stay up here for a while?" I was scared to see Emmett right now, but only because I was scared I would flip out on him again.

"Sure thing, Darlin'." He smiled, but then got off the bed and went to the closet.

Propping myself up on my elbows, I watched him and sighed. He was pulling on a long sleeve shirt, of course. Sighing and rolling my eyes, I crawled up so that I was leaning against the headrest and slipped under the blankets. I can't believe our family made him feel this insecure.

"Darlin', it's fine, it's not a big deal." Damn empathy, he would be able to feel my emotions, I forgot about that.

Sighing again, I rested my head on the pillow. I knew that I couldn't sleep, but I could at least lay down and just think about everything.

"Bella? What's wrong?" My emotions were getting the better of me, and I was upset about this whole situation. If I could, I would cry. I felt so alone on the bed right now, and in the world except for Jasper. Jasper was the only one who could make me feel safe, feel as if I wasn't a crazy newborn who would just end up killing the world.

Under the covers still, I pulled my knees up to my chest and clamped my eyes shut. I just wanted to slip into sleep, to be able to just leave this world and just forget it all. I shook my head no, trying to show him I was too upset for words. Emmett screwed up my mind, and now all I could think about was the look on his face as he looked at my love's scars.

I felt the bed dip towards the end of the bed, as far from me as he could get. I felt his hand gently placed on my foot, not wanting to push me. I started to dry cry. I turned on Emmett, my brother! I was so screwed up. Edward shattered me, and Jasper tried to put me back together, but the cracks would forever more be there.

"Jas…" I whimpered out, dry sobbing now. All I could choke out was his name, and only his shorter nickname at that.

That was his sign that it would be okay, Jasper came up behind me, but staid above the blankets. "Bella…" His voice was strained, and I knew that he cared for me, and how I felt.

I turned around so that I was facing him, and I buried my face into his chest and continued to cry softly.

He gently reached his arm around me and gently rubbed my back, comforting me through the comforter. "Bells, I'm so sorry. I wish I could take it all away." He gently kissed my forehead and kept trying to sooth me.

I took a deep breath and let out a soft sigh. "You already do." I pulled back slightly and looked at him.

"I don't understand, Darlin'." His southern accent put me even more at ease.

I pushed myself up so I was now eye level with him. "You take it all away." I smiled, and pulled him into a deep passionate kiss,, but then I got pushed just a little too far.


	20. These Memories Are Hell

BPOV

**As our kiss depended, I could feel my control slipping as well as Jasper's. My hands moved up to his hair as I gently ran my fingers through his long curly hair, but that was when it got too far for comfort.**

**Jasper's hands drifted under the comforter and traced the hem of my shirt. Before I could pull away from his mouth to protest, he shot his hand up under my shirt. His hand on my bare stomach, tracing the edge of my bra brought back the raw memory of Edward raping me. **

**Letting out a growl, I jumped off the bed and flung myself against the wall (Just realized that is basically what happened between Edward and Bella in the actual story haha). Gripping the wall with flat, open paws, I started to pant, growling and hissing at him.**

**Getting off the bed, he lifted his hands in the air in surrender. "Darlin'. I'm sorry. I pushed you too far, I'm sorry." He whispered, and moved to the corner farthest from me.**

**I knew he was Jasper, I knew he was the one I loved, but all I could think was that he was about to rape me. I hate to get away. If I staid there, he would rape me. As I looked at him, he started to fade away. Suddenly, Edward was there, taking his place. (Memory's coming back, all fake, but she is flipping.)**

**I continued to hiss, but it became more violent, and I felt the venom pool in my mouth, and dripped onto the floor. "Edward, get away from me." **

"**Darlin', I'm not Edward. I'm Jasper. I love you." He took a step forward, but stepped back once I let out a blood curdling growl.**

"**No you don't! You're not Jasper! You are the bastard that raped me! You will never do that again!" I crouched down, and looked at him. "You will never do that ever again." I growled again.**

**Edward, the coward, ducked back, and put his arms in front of his face, protecting himself. Letting out another growl, I charged forward. In a split second, I was breaking through the glass of the window and hit the ground running.**

**Running towards the forest, I heard a pair of footsteps following me. Letting out another roar, I whipped around and moved into a defensive crouch. "Edward, if it's you, come out and fight. Be a man for once in your damn life." **

"**It's Emmett." Emmett stepped forward, hands up.**

"**Emmett, what are you doing here?" I knew that I was mad at him earlier, but now I can't remember why.**

"**I heard the glass break. I wanted to make sure you were okay. And did you say Edward?"**

**I moved out of the defensive crouch and looked at him. "He was in my room again. He tried to rape me again." I started to dry cry softly, looking down at my feet.**

**Slowly, I heard Emmett shuffle towards me. "Is it alright to hug you?" He knew how hard this was for me. **

"**Yes." I whispered, and hugged him gently, as he hugged me. "Where is Jasper?" I loved him, he was possibly the only person who could make me feel better, yet he wasn't here.**

"**Bells, I think I need to talk to you about something." His voice was soft, and he pulled back, sitting on the ground.**

**Taking half a step back, I sat down, facing him, but I kept looking back and forth, trying to see if Edward would be chasing me again.**

"**Bells, you were in Jasper's room…with Jasper. I guess he pushed you so far, and you thought it was Edward, but it wasn't. It was Jasper, the guy you love…or you keep saying you love."**

**Looking at him, I could feel my mouth hang open. "No, Jasper would never push me that far! He wouldn't!" **

"**Bells, you might not fully understand this, but we were all changed when we were roughly teens. Do you not remember the teens when you were alive? They all want one thing, and even though we are vampires, we still have that want. Jasper is stronger than I am at least, but he still has wants. **

"**Bells, he stepped out of line, yes, but you need to realize, he is Jasper, not Edward. He is probably beating himself up right now because he screwed up, but you can't be mad at him forever."**

**Sighing, I closed my eyes and nodded slowly. "But I **_**saw **_**Edward after I jumped out of the bed."**

"**It was probably from the fear of the memory that happened, but it was Jasper. Edward is dead and gone. You will never see him again, I swear on my life." **

**I opened my eyes and looked down at my hands. "Jasper." I called for him, almost shouting. I was almost positive that he was still in the room, but this was going to be hard. I can't believe he pushed me that far.**

**Emmett looked at me. "Do you want me to stay?' He asked softly, utterly confused about what to do, I'm sure.**

**Shaking my head, I let out another slow breath. "No, you can go. It is only Jasper…" **

"**Okay, call if you need me." Then he was gone. I took in a deep and slow breath. I caught the strong scent of Emmett, of course, but I caught the slightest scent from Jasper. It was a quarter of a mile north, but I could also smell the scent from the shirt I was wearing. I would use that to make sure that it was Jasper, not Edward.**

"**Darlin'?" The southern accent broke through the trees, and then he slowly appeared. First I saw Edward, and I cringed back. I took a deep breath and smelled him, then smelled the sleeve of the shirt. Jasper, it is Jasper. Closing my eyes, I stood up and then opened them, looking at him closely.**

"**Darlin', I'm so sorry. I crossed the line, I know I did. I'm sorry, I lost control. I promise it will never happen again." He staid where he was, but looked me in the eye, something Edward would never do if he was in this situation.**

"**Jasper, can you come here please?" I took a step forward, but then sat down, cross-legged and looked at my hands as I twirled my thumbs.**

**Jasper took a few steps forward, then sat. He was still about two yards away from me, and that made me feel a little better.**

"**I love you. You chased away the demons that were left when Edward raped me. You are the only one that makes me feel safe, when I knew I wasn't. You make me feel perfect when I know I'm broken. Why?" I looked up at him with very soft eyes.**

"**Because I love you. I chased away the demons, because your demons are mine. I make you feel safe, because I will never let anyone hurt you. I make you feel perfect, because you **_**are. **_**No matter what happens in this world, you are too good for me, and you are the most perfect vampire, or person I know. I love you with every fiber of my being, and I might have ruined that today." His eyes drifted from my face to the ground next to me.**

**I got to my feet, and then squatted in front of him, eye level. I used my index finger to gently tilt his head towards me, trying to be as gentle as I could. "You went a little to far today, yes." His face fell. "Let me finish. I over reacted today. You love me, I know you do. No matter what, I will love you. I'm sorry I made you think that you ruined it." **

**Leaning forward, I very slowly, gently, and passionately kissed him, trying to fill it with all of my love that I had for Jasper. Very gently, our lips molded to each other's. I pulled back and smiled.**

**Very hesitantly, Jasper wrapped his arm around my waist and gently slid me onto his lap. "I love you." I whispered and wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my head against his chest.**

"**I love you too. I'm sorry I ever risked that."**


	21. Hell's End Of Time

**BPOV**

Opening my eyes, I let out a soft purr. I was getting better at being around Jasper intimately, but I still had a low limit.

Jasper's arm was draped loosely across me, and I felt him laying behind me on the bed. I interlocked our fingers, and then used my free hand to ghost traces over the scars on his hand. I pushed at the sleeve.

"You should wear short sleeve shirts." I smiled and brought his knuckles to my lips, gently kissing them, then dropped them back to my side.

"And why is that, Darlin'?" He asked softly, and I felt his grip tighten slightly on my hand.

I turned and looked at him, then turned my attention to his hand again, running my thumb over his most dominate scar that was on his hand, smiling again. "Because you look better when your muscles are showing." I looked back up at Jasper.

"Darlin', you know that I can't do that." He looked me in the eye, but it was clear that he was still upset about his scars.

"Jas, stop hiding behind your clothes. Please, I like your muscles." I smiled mischievously.

"We'll see. So, what do you want to do today?" He pulled my hand up to his mouth and gently kissed each knuckle, not looking away from my eyes.

"How about we try to play baseball." I smiled and inched forward, gently kissing the tip of his nose. "I love you."

"I love you too." He was up and then pulled me off the bed, cradling me to his chest and smiling to me. "Lets go get the rest of the family." And then he was running down the stairs.

I giggled softly. Jasper was so sweet, and I was just in complete and utter love with him.

He got downstairs and sat, keeping me on his lap. I giggled again, and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Guys! Come here please!" I called out, but kept my eyes on Jasper.

They were around us instantly, and I let go of Jasper's neck and turned to look at the family. "Anyone up for a game of good old baseball?" I smiled, knowing that my time as a newborn was running out, and I wanted to live it up, not think about the bastard

Edward anymore.

"Sweet! I'm on the team with the newborn!" Emmett smiled, nearly jumping up and down in excitement.

"So am I." Jasper whispered behind me, and tightened his grip on me lovingly.

"Don't worry, we will still beat you." Rose smiled and gently pushed Emmett's chest.

"Oh yeah?" Emmett straightened up, and got in Rose's face. I giggled and covered my mouth; they were so fake.

"What, you think I'm funny, newborn?" Emmett turned to me, straightening up, raising one eyebrow.

I got off of Jasper's lap, and I felt him stand up behind me for backup, but I was in complete control. "Yeah, I think it's hilarious." I tilted my head in challenge.

"Oh, you're lucky we're on the same team, or else I would crush you."

"Yeah? You jumped at the chance to be on my team. I think you are scared to face me."

"Yeah, you wish." He rolled his eyes.

"Prove me wrong then! Switch teams, and we will see who is better." I smiled, and looked around. "Carlisle, do you mind switching teams so Emmett can finally loose for once?"

Carlisle laughed. "Of course." He smiled. "Let's get ready to go then. News said it was going to rain today, so it will be perfect."

"Oh, you are on!" Emmett smiled, then looked at Rose. "Can you get everyone ready for it? Please?" He pulled her close.

Jasper wrapped his arms loosely around my waist and pulled me close. "You go get ready." He whispered into my ear, and then kissed my cheek.

Rose laughed. "Fine, come on Bella, lets get all dressed up for our men." She smiled, kissed Emmett quickly, then pulled away from him.

She looked at me and smiled.

Reluctantly, I pulled away from Jasper and followed Rose up the stairs and into her room. I sat on the bed and sighed. "You realize we have to plan the memorial after this, right?"

"Yeah, I know. Might as well have a little fun before that though." She pulled out an outfit and tossed it at me. "Here, this will make Jasper go crazy over you…if you want him to that is."

Looking closely at the clothes, I smiled. "Thanks Rose, I appreciate it." It was a pair of short shorts jeans, and a hot pink, low cut T-shirt, and it was adorable. "Do you think I'll look good in it?"

"Bella, you will look so hot Jasper won't be able to keep his hands off of you." She smiled and pulled out another pair of short shorts jeans and a black v neck T-shirt with neon paint splatters. She then walked into the closet and started to change, as did I.

When we where both done, we walked arm and arm down the stairs, and I smiled as Jasper and Emmett both stood up.

"Rose, you look amazing." Emmett said, pulling her into a hug and spinning her around, kissing her fiercely.

Jasper took a step forward. "Bella, I don't think you have looked more beautiful." He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, but in a loving manor.

"Aww, and you're wearing a short sleeve shirt. I love it." I ran my hands from his waist to his shoulders, then wrapped my arms around his neck. "You look so handsome." I twisted my fingers through his loose curls, smiling.

"Are we going to play or not?" Emmett asked, pulling me and Jasper out of our own little land.

"Yeah, sure. You guys go ahead, we will be there in a second. We'll get the bats and balls." Jasper said, still looking solely on me.

"Whatever, love birds." Emmett muttered, then he and Rose were gone.

"We're going too." Carlisle called, then they were gone too. And we were finally alone.

"I love you, Jasper Hale." I whispered, pulling even closer. I loved the smell of him, and the feeling of his breath on my face.

"I love you, Bella Swan." He smiled, and slowly pressed his lips to mine, but I wanted more. I kissed him slightly harder, and fisted his hair, but was pushed away.

"Darlin', don't push yourself." He whispered, but then brushed his lips against mine again. "I love you too much to push you again. Come on, Darlin'. Let's go play baseball.

Hell, I would go to the end of the earth with this man.


	22. Hell of A Long Time

Hey guys, it's me. And yes, this is just a short author's note. I don't really know where to take this story. I'm just not really into it anymore. But I know that there are a lot of people who still want to read it. I am willing to continue writing it, as long as people express their interest in the story, and if someone was willing to give me an idea to have happen. I would prefer _not _to give this story away, but if I don't get any ideas, I might. Alright, please review with any ideas that you have for me to add to the story. Thanks! I love you all.


	23. Maybe Goodbye

Hey guys, bad news. I have a lot of stuff going on in my life right now, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to write anymore. If I can, I will TRY, but I can't promise. But my friend on here is just starting up, and she has a similar writing style as I do. She has her first story up (as this username), and needs people to read it. I would just like to say that if you liked my stories, try hers. She is a good person, and I personally like the story. Alright, thanks guys, and please read and review her story if you can. It's actually good. Her username is "needingfreedom". Please check her out! Alright, I love you all!

~Chefchick


End file.
